hear wisdom whispered from the withered walls
the listless lies to lustfulness that’s lost
your hellish hallows from those hateful doves
infected – nesting similar to ghosts
one day I smoothly smothered you to rest
then tearfully I tore our house apart
but boastfully in bravery your breath
still lingers loathfully and won’t depart
and resonates resentment from our past
to puckishness like yours I pack my bags
and fretfully I’m leaving you in haste
so you can be with friends – those cackling hags
but now I face my final destiny
and I will join you soon my gemini
Copyright Mary Shipman
I had not started to write yet for Friday Fictioneers when this was first up. I am currently in a sonnet mode, and I like the challenge of trying to meet it in exactly 100 words. I also played around with some alliterations..
I will be away for most of the weekend, so I might not be able to come back to your blog until Sunday or Monday.
—
June 18, 2014
Björn Rudbergs writings 
Bjorn that was like a shotgun blast. I had to practice it a few times before I really let loose and read it out loud. Wham! >KB
Many thanks.. a little bit of a tonguetwister… 🙂
Oh your sonnet is bursting (and dripping) with strong meaning. This is an excellent poem Bjorn.
Hope you have a delightful journey
I hope so too. it depends a lot on the weather…
this was so haunting and your use of words, alliterations (I love alliteration) made it more so.
Very nice. (I enjoy my visits to your space)
Great use of alliteration, well done.
One of my favourites of your poems I think.
You’ve told the story well and quiet poetically. I just wonder if it’s her breast that lingers or her breath? Because I’m having trouble with a lingering breast… Taken literally, it paints a very odd picture.
You are quite right… 🙂 I will update..
Whew. That’s a typo that could totally change the flavor of the story! 😉
Very powerful and moving, Bjorn. I love alliteration, and you structured this so well!
BEAUTIFUL!
Safe journey to you.
Impressive stuff, Bjorn.
I had to read it a few times, but whoa. There is so much imagery going on. I loved it!
impacting and I love the alliterations.
Wow, no more to say really 🙂
Your poetry never ceases to amaze me, Bjorn. Enjoy your time off.
janet
Very nice read Bjorn – and I liked the last line the most “and I will join you soon my gemini” !
Bjorn, Have a good trip. That piece seemed to just glide along aided by the alliteration. Your vocabulary amazes me. Well written. 🙂 —Susan
Gently smothering a lover to eternal rest is a fantastic idea!
Thanks for sharing!
Sublime! Your sonnet floats! Loved reading it, I do so like a good sonnet!
Wow! lots of clever language in that. Bravo.
A lot of strong story running through your poem
You’re an amazing poetic storyteller. I could not begin to fathom how you do it…so I won’t. I’ll just…love it!
Bjorn ~
Glad you are in a sonnet mood – this is a great one! I love the second line. Your story fits the form so well!
Enjoy your travels…
Ellespeth
This is quite haunting but to write as a sonnet, I am really impressed!
I loved this! I’m not a huge poetry fan but this blew me away, not just the content but the sounds of the words, the alliteration, the rhyme, the rhythm – perfect. The sounds are so clever that even non-English speakers would enjoy hearing this read aloud.
One tiny typo I think – should ‘linger’ be ‘lingers’?
Ah.. thank … the typo is there.. now corrected.
This is a masterpiece, Bjorn. I love the alliteration and the wonderful images you use.
Just fantastic, Björn! Love the alliteration throughout, and the use of some words that just make it sing… puckish! Love that. Reading it through, a couple of times, the story really takes form.
Brilliant!
Loved this, and the alliterations added to the resonance. Well done again, Bjorn.
Typo alert? Did you mean “your breath lingers” – with an S?
Blown away by Björn’s brilliant ballad. Absolutely loved this.
Brilliant work, I’ve read it several times because I enjoyed it so much.
Love the alliterations, Bjorn. Nice one!
Dear Björn,
Your poetry almost justifies the murder. I’m truly glad you joined our intrepid band of writers.
shalom,
Rochele
I quite enjoy your sonnet! Sounds better when I read it aloud.
Lily
I sense a touch of The Telltale Heart in this.