41 responses to “Unintended vitriol – sonnet for dVerse”

1. Spooky and Powerful!

2. my words are dying stars of brutal grunts
   wow, nice line…lots of feeling in this…for me a feeling of unworthiness or inability….and that last line…love it seems is a hard rabbit to trap in our words….falling well short of our true feelings…for sure…

3. I enjoyed the last two lines. But, ha, I don’t think expressing love is very often trivial. (But hopefully it is not often filled with vitriol either. Smiles.)

4. I loved your words – and found them at times grotesque and terribly colorful. Kind of like they were “grabbing and jamming at me.

5. Raven’s comment about your words being ‘grotesque’ is pretty accurate. A harsh poem, but then again…I suspect that’s exactly what you were striving for.

6. oh heck… i love all the images… very felt piece björn… and welcome back

7. One of your bravest, most effective, darkest & sauciest sonnets, brother, grafting words & images like a mad hatter, twisting tenderness into vitriol, striving to express your love as the bitch goddess of chaos spurns your intentions. Love the line /my words are dying stars of brutal grunts/. Your poetics, sir, are enjoying a growth spurt; better each week, I swear.

8. Ouch! Really a felt piece

9. I love the contrast of darkness with the triviality (or not) of love ~ Lovely sonnet form Bjorn ~ Have a safe travel ~

10. Guttural. That’s the word that springs to mind in response to this piece of writing. Well done, well done.

11. You have expressed the inability to express oneself quite well. Doesn’t this sound paradoxical?

12. What is “it” that builds (line 3)? I think that may affect my reading. I think it’s intended whispers appearing as grunts, blooms that turn to tentacles, words that de-glow instead of …! May you come home refreshed and with your power of speech fully restored.

13. Your language of words howl.
    the winds of your talented mind touch our skin to feel hope and inspiration.

    wow!!! I love this poem from you. 🙂

14. Bjorn, You got a lot of reaction from this poem. Strong feelings being described. Hope the remainder of your trip goes well. 🙂 —Susan

15. the pain of feeling insignificant..my words are dying stars..ugh..

16. “and cannot fill your desert river-bed of questions asked”
    “instead of bloom I’m bramble-tentacles”
    WOW, this is TNT.

17. I burn with unintended vitriol
    expressing love should have been trivial

    Agreed! It should have been lots easier but i’s not! Expressing love done mostly in a round about way that sticks! Great sonnet Bjorn!

    Hank

18. Ah! expressing love – is never easy, is it?

    my words are dying stars of brutal grunts
    and cannot fill your desert river-bed

    Amazing effect here Bjorn.

19. Somehow I had the feeling of watching one of those gargoyles, sculpted and attached to some old old building, trying to walk away from its foundation.

20. I so connect with this one Bjorn, I know what it is to feel the expression of love should be so simple but sometimes made complicated. Very well done. Hope you got home ok.

21. The trauma of emotions here. Well done.

22. Wow…your use of language here really brings a twist to the stomach you make us feel the unpleasantness of a bitter exchange between a couple. Great work!

23. thats wonderful use of words

24. The rhythm of this is amazing! Underbart vackert, trots det mörka temat!

25. There is a lot of struggle here. Expressing oneself is not always as easy as we would hope for. Well written!

26. I really like the imagery in those first three lines especially….but the rest is strong as well. “Unintended vitriol” -ouch…but I think many can relate!

27. Your words are not dying ..smiles ..looks like the flight did its magic on you…very nice Bjorn

28. Ouch, quite bitter and hurtful, not like your usual poetry at all – vitriol indeed – you achieved the intended effect indeed!

29. I understand this very well. Sometimes, questions are just so intrusive you wish the inquisitor off by unpleasantness. 🙂

30. Ever the struggle of seemingly simple that are anything but.

    “…brim-filled in disgust
    instead of bloom I’m bramble-tentacles
    of glowing words that instantly combust …”

    “Unintended vitriol” getting in the way of that which needs to be spoken.

31. Some cool lines and interesting turn of phrases here … you’re very good with sonnets, Bjorn 🙂

32. Indeed, considered in the light of the myriad of aspects of the human condition expressing love should be trivial – though I suspect for many (if not most) of us mere mortals, it is anything but.

33. Yikes! To me expressions of love are never trivial but your quandary is very clear here–so difficult! k.

34. tough times! some cool wordplay here….a very layered piece

35. ..the depth of the turmoil of writing expressed so well in this sonnet..I love the first two lines, then contrasted with the goriness of the process…cool write.

36. Tightly packed…………..great write!

37. Ooer! No word failure there – you woke me up with the power of this to make my flesh creep!

38. Yes..sometimes words..make life..
    what it could otherwise be..
    just life…
    my feeling
    not
    thought
    is..if IT doesn’t exist
    on the beach..
    it’s not real….
    after traveling that
    and filled road for over a decade..
    before..
    getting
    TOTALLY LOST..
    IN WORDS..
    MORE THAN
    any thing
    else..
    far far away
    from the beach..
    in words instead…of free…JLS..sea..
    gull….not
    i b le…

39. Love is brutal…brought out well.

40. This sonnet really WORKED. No forced, shoehorned words or phrases, Bjorn. Late to the party, but wanted to tell you that describing yourself as “bramble-tentacles” connected intimately. The reaching out, even if the attempt is covered with thorns. Brill. Amy

41. This. Is. Awesome. In a rough, grim, dirty and gritty way – it really has some power in the darkness.

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