The Seven Deadly Sins, Anger by Erte
Your verbal creations of filigreed damnations
in spittle riddled spray of curses hurled at me
I defend with apologies of brittle verses and swirl away
hiding and humbled – stumble and sliding
growing crimson guilt and my extinction builds
I commit to whatever uses I’ve omitted
in excuses for another toilet seat left open
Linked to Toads for 55 words
—
May 31, 2014
Gosh firey!!!
😉
haha… oh no… over here i’m always the one who leaves the toilet lid open… and really – i wanna close it but i just forget…
This is just packed with explosive sounds, Bjorn, and I had to laugh at the last line–however, speaking as a female, sitting down unsuspecting on a naked toilet rim is a cold, cold thing. ;_)
My favorite lines, (besides the filigreed curses, which was tops) :
I defend with apologies of brittle verses and swirl away
hiding and humbled – stumble and sliding
growing crimson guilt and my extinction builds..
All the vowel and consonant sounds are quite in harmony there, even as the narrator is obviously not getting much harmony at all.;_)
Safe travels, and thanks so much for playing 55 with us..
🙂 as hedgewitch stated, the sound play is excellent in this
Such a creative title ~ And the ending was unexpected and made me smile too 🙂
Hahahaha! That is the most clever toilet seat apology I’ve ever heard…or read. Love the fun word-play here Bjorn. I’d pick fights with you just to get apologies like this one! 😉
Just too damn funny.
DJ
So very clever, Bjorn. Really quite wonderful. k.
I was expecting that you’d committed some truly foul offense.
Then again, one time my brother left the toilet seat up, and my heinie ended up immersed. At that moment, leaving the lid up was an offense truly foul!
My 55 was a tad more serious in nature. It can be found here.
http://poetryofthenetherworld.blogspot.com/2014/05/for-dad-on-his-78th-birthday.html
Love the sound play in spittle/riddled/brittle…Ha…your ending surprised me! I was kinda wonking about this just today!! Not everyday…only sometimes it bothers me. 🙂
Love the ending! What a surprise. It is amazing how much anger can be engendered by toilet seats.
That last line came across loud and clear, Bjorn. XD —Susan
It’s the small things … that flips the lid.
Great use of internal rhyme and 55 words to describe an unforgivable sin!
🙂
No sympathy fro me, but i do love the way you have put together your words here, so pleasing to the ear and so evocative of a storm blowing someone back and away. The final bit made me laugh. Much sound and fury! 😉
ha! excellent, Bjorn ~
Dang—guess my husband is lucky he puts it back down. This was fun, Bjorn.
This cannot be rapidly read aloud without emitting a bit of spitt-le.
It’s those little things which rub at the edges. The illustration is great!
I would never leave a seat open, Bjorn. It’s an ugly gaping hole.
Same too though, I shut the whole thing. Mrs. Jim say “no”, it will lend to mold growth inside the toilet. I can’t beat ’em so I joined.
..