Dave had looked forward to his final day. To leave this hellhole and the revolting people calling themselves friends. To walk out through the door as a free man, diploma in his hand, a family and a career to build.
Sometimes things don’t happen as you want. No family – she said rape, but he knew that Laura really wanted him. No career – She made sure of that.
He looked down at the cheering crowd, those cloaked revolting imps, and with a vision blurred with tears he pressed the trigger.
This was the year when few received a degree.
Copyright –Jennifer Pendergast
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This week I wrote a story that sounds all to real to me, maybe it’s not even fiction.
Rochelle running this great community of bloggers does a great job. Visit her site to join if you dare. Last week there were more than 100 contributions.
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May 28, 2014
Björn Rudbergs writings 
I can almost see this happening. Nice one.
Unfortunately it does…
Sadly, it’s exactly what happened last week in CA… or pretty damned close to exactly.
horrifying how some people would ruin the lives of others just because they’ve lost all hope with theirs.
Indeed… revenge against the world…
I echo KZ’s comments. You could take your story two ways, either that he shot himself or that he shot his colleagues. Either way, it certainly ruins the lives of others.
I think it could have been either… but my thought was more along the lines of school massacre
my “Like” is only that the story evoked emotion in me. i wanted to disembowel this little cowardly phucker. perhaps i’ll write from another’s perspective at the graduation…
I think you did well 🙂
**she smiles**
Not completely sure what’s going on but it sounds grim.
A school shooting maybe…
Nice and dark. I like.
Ohhhh SNAP! That is TWISTED! I mean, I hated college as much as the next guy, at least I wasn’t psychotic about it.
You nailed this one, Bjorn. Nice work!
Pingback: Graduation Day | Work in Progress...·
not so fast Dave: http://contactrida.com/2014/05/28/graduation-day/
Smoothly crafted, such a dark tale 🙂
Makes me uncomfortable. But good stories always do.
Yikes! Very sinister. I like the twist, great writing 🙂
Bjorn, Good story about a horrible situation to be in. You were in dark mode again for this one. Extremely sad but well written. 🙂 —Susan
Such a dark, sad story! Well-conceived and terribly tragic.
Bye-bye revolting imps. The end beat of the story made me sigh, “Oh.” and actually draw away from my computer screen. Well done, Bjorn.
That’s an angry soul.
Well, in the vernacular of today, “That’s the bomb!”
Very precise tenseness, and the steps to his torment are clear. A powerful scene of him surveying his ‘scene’ about to shoot. I thought this was great, and worded so well.
Very well done. But all too real….
Bjorn — This is very close to today’s real problems — people deciding to hurt others just because they feel hurt themselves. You have highlighted a current trend in just a few words. As always, your writings are very powerful. I enjoy reading your stories.
Horrifying and tragic – you’ve painted a picture of a nasty, twisted, violent man. I have to say well done, but I’d rather people like him didn’t exist in our world.
Dear Björn,
Chilling and doubly so in light of current events. I’m afraid I can’t feel much sympathy for your MC even though he’s a tortured individual. I can only see the recent news and cry for his victims. Well written.
Shalom,
Rochelle
Dear Bjorn,
Seasonal Affective Disorder Syndrome strikes again. Could not help but think of the similarity between your story and the Isla Vista shootings. Dark indeed and well written.
Aloha,
Doug
Whoa, Bjorn, that was a little too close for comfort. A little too dark, I think. But you did a good job presenting your narrator and it could be a chapter in a Jo Nesbo book!
A friend and I were recently discussing young women “crying rape” after having too much to drink. His theory was that young men have too much to drink also. I understood where he was coming from but decided nothing good could come from us debating the topic. I closed it by saying “I think it would have to be determined in a case by case basis”. I think of the murderer in your story and wonder was it rape? I hope there are responsible adults out there teaching our children what is rape.
So dark. I like the doubt about whose perception is correct.
this is one of those stories that leaves me speechless. That’s not a criticism; I just don’t know what I can say.
To close to news perhaps..
Sinister and very relevant. Unfortunately. Well done!
Greetings from Greece!
Maria (MM Jaye)
This is so very close to the Isla Vista murders… the #YesAllWomen campaign is exactly what this story is about. Very dark and chilling, Björn. I found myself surprised by the many comments that said “I could see this happening,” or similar… it is happening far too often!
This is happening too much in my country lately… of course once is too much. I liked your second paragraph.
I loved the flow… the agony that is well established…
Nice!
You’re right about it not being fiction, although each similar incident is still umbelievable.
Unfortunately, you’ve touched on realism here. I think you did a masterful job of the madness/anger/rage hiding behind the normal appearance–in and of itself realistic.
Here’s mine: http://unexpectedpaths.com/2014/05/30/friday-fictioneers-and-an-elegy/
Very well written, unfortunately all too believable too.
Tragic! There is more than one lesson here…
Shalom. Beth
If only the gun would only take out the guilty. Which in this case would probably be him.
Well written Bjorne, but I don’t know what to say…all too close to reality in a world that seems without scope or reason.
Blimey Bjorn. That ending packed a hell of a punch. Excellent story!
Art imitates life? Left me with a heavy heart. A good story always evokes emotion though, doesn’t it?
And that’s why we need sane and reasonable gun regulation in the United States. Thanks for creating an excellent forum to make that point; an important story!
Sad but true. A well written account from the shooter’s POV.
How awful. So much for “best-laid plans”. Some people just paint themselves into corners, but suicide? Excellent story. Lucy
or maybe a massacre given recent events.
i really like how you made your character seem like a winner in the beginning . . . “free man, diploma in his hand . . .” and with a quick snap, a realistic horror show. superb story!
Very topical, and a grim look inside the mind of one of these people, their belief that they’re always in the right and everyone else is against them and has wronged them.
A dark and disturbing story, even more in light of recent events. Too many seem to be taking recourse to violence these days.
So well done on conveying his hatred and disapointment and ultimate revenge. This is really disturbing – that people think and behave like this – and you’ve told it so well.
Dark, very dark, so much pain.
This ended with a bang that left me speechless for a while. Very dark and depressing, but like you mentioned, it’s unfortunately not a wildly fictitious occurrence. Amazing job at conveying his spite. I was expecting (and hoping) a happy ending, but you went for the deep and powerful.