‘We live as we dream. Alone’
(Joseph Conrad, Heart of Darkness)
suddenly awake – I raise the draw-bridge
and feed the alligators in my moat
defend myself with razor-wire sentences
and repair the bulwarks to my dreams
while execution squads in morning drill
to rolling drums blindfold all my thoughts
to obliterate into forgetful bliss
my nightmares disintegrate like crows
I wear the spray-paint of a sunshine smile
and sing lazily to quench the screams
from death-row prison cells below
a day with granite round my heart begins
but soon to solemn choruses of night
I rest in darkness of my ink-washed dreams
Today at dVerse poetics, Mary wants us to use quotes. I choose on from Heart of Darkness that I recently read. After I had written it, I counted the syllables of each line, and without thinking, it had become “almost” a blank-verse sonnet… hmm I wonder if I talk in iambs nowadays.
Björn Rudbergs writings 
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this is brilliant.
Thank you Ron
while the dreams may be a prison, they might be relief from this present reality…after reading i am unsure which i might prefer…ha
Dreams like this are just our loneliness we carry deep within…
You have drawn a chilling portrait, Björn. I wonder whether you had former Central African president, Bokassa, in mind.
Unfortunately he thrived on other’s nightmares.. probably more Mr Kurz… was on my mind..
Very dark but great description Bjorn. I’m sorry for anyone who has dreams like that. 😥 Well done. 🙂 —Susan
I think everyone has that little core of loneliness.. in dreams and in life.
… spray-paint of a sunshine smile – What a line!!
Isn’t that a lot like prison walls..?
It fits so perfectly into that poem, really!
This poem is so very rich in imagery, Bjorn. “My nightmares disintegrate like crows” is perfection. Your poem chills me in its depiction of, I think, the ultimate loneliness.
I really saw the strength in the quote.. It just pulled me in
This is amazing . . . darkness in all it’s glory.
Sunshine make me dark
You really captured the disconnected dreamlike state…and also the madness that Conrad’s character descended to in Heart of Darkness.
Maybe i should have included the quote : The horror! the horror…
I would love to take your last reply as a quote, brother–“Sunshine makes me dark.” And, wow, I agree that the brilliant line /my nightmares disintegrate like crows/ is boffo wonderful; wish I had written it. Such a strong brave free verse poetic; a fine effort, a perfect pitch response to the prompt, sir.
I doubt it’s free verse.. to much meter… (but very thin on rhymes)…
Dark & brutal but beautifully written sonnet ~ I specially dig the 3rd stanza ~
Thank you.. yes that one felt good to write…
bit thin on the rhyme, but what’s a verse between friends 🙂
I agree with Glenn: that would make a fab quote. Not too keen on hot weather?
Me neither.
Ha. I love warm weather… probably easier to tolerate dark thoughts..
it’s sad when we shut ourselves away in a prison and a relief when there are some people that with their love manage to break through
But the fear… the horror, the horror (as Kurtz said).
I can’t help but think of the difference between alone-ness and loneliness. Ultimately we are alone…and that’s why I think it’s important to develop a certain comfort with oneself, crazy as we might be!
I think that fear of being alone might be the same of loneliness to some extent… and yes it’s colored be the story where the quote is taken..
The comfort in your closing lines is a blessing. Brilliant write, Bjorn.
Dark and intense. An excellent poem.
“I wonder if I talk in iambs now”…. ha ha Thank goodness you aren’t addicted to rhyme – that might sound a little strange in daily conversations 🙂 … intrigued by the “spray paint smile” and crow reference. Just great imagery – a great “nightmare” of a poem.
Now your comments are visible…
Testing – did you get my comment?
‘darkness of my ink-washed dreams’… what a stunning phrase. I loved this, Bjorn.
Thank you… I was just very inspired writing this one.
I could tell. You’re on a roll with your poetry right now, Bjorn!
Exceptional, Bjorn! That final line is so gripping. We;ve all bathed in such dreams.
What deliciously dark imagery. Can one enjoy such an expression of despair?
I was just about to say what effort it must have been to come up with such an array of images while keeping to a meter of sorts, when I saw it was unintentional – bravo! You’ve kept the beat so consistent, particularly in the first line of each of the quatrains, and that brilliant couplet. I also really like “my nightmares disintegrate like crows”. A fine sonnet here!
to obliterate into forgetful bliss
my nightmares disintegrate like crows
Your such a visual and intelligent person.
Me hearing you speak your words of poetry life just makes sense in every beautiful way. Awesome writing my friend.
P.S Are you French?
I’m not French, I’m Swedish 🙂
It wouldn’t surprise me if your speech was poetic. Your poem is sharp, sad – a reflection of reality we seldom like to see. Good writing.
did not think this piece would end up in a cell… where at the beginning I was thinking of alligators
A dream like that may very well be called a nightmare
Dreams are such a prison, and so wonderfully captive can we be.
Great piece Bjorn
The image at the end really ‘sees’ it..
There is this place of prison of soul..
i’ve been there..
done it..
wHere words are only empty shells
of remnants
of heart once held…
tHere is such great potential of life in words..
but reality for some..
is only empty
shell..of heart once worn…
“To sleep, perchance to dream, aye, there’s the rub…” Especially when the day is so horrid the only way to survive is not to see–be blindfolded, spray painted, ink washed, sleep. How many times can the dream restore what is lost in the day? Prisons are never dreamy.
to live in dreams is bliss specially when nightmares disintegrate like crows…but if it’s a prison and a solitary cell then what?…lovely haunting lines…
Great rhythm and alliteration to this (the relentless beat of the drums) and a haunting, nightmarish quality. How we try to bulwark ourselves against the outside world and the inevitability of death: moat, alligators, razor-wire…
This… This… Jag tappade helt enkelt andan! Önskar att jag kunde sätta ord på precis det där, precis! So beautifully written, sad and just… Just perfect! Bravo, Björn!
Yes I agree…… It digs in more of lonely feeling and we start living there without thinking the rest
Such dark imagery… love those ink washed dreams. Excellent, rich write here and a great quote to choose. Nice work Bjorn!
A very effective extended metaphor! I liked hearing you read it too, with the expression conveying the meaning so exactly.
WOW! I especially like:
I wear the spray-paint of a sunshine smile
and sing lazily to quench the screams
Your dreams seem so connected with reality, so painful, I’d open the door of prison and see what/who will come out…maybe something will prefer staying inside…~ Cool visualisation here!
from the quote to the ink washed dreams ..beautiful poem…
oh wow! This is action-packed and intense.
Being alone , trapped by one’s thoughts, can be a truly terrible ordeal. They make being alone quite a scary proposition. 🙂
I’m putting the key under my pillow
There is definitelhy a sense of firing squad in some of our morning drills–the spray painted smile–like grafitti is also just such a strong image, Bjorn–agh! k.
love builds draw-bridges.
Few ever refer to this innate loneliness which we all share…relationships, family, networks of friends are simply buffers to soften the realisation of this fact…the
only alleviation from this primal loneliness is to listen to the voice from within…God’s voice who will always be with you if one can remove all of the white noise and find the time to listen. Temporal things can never stem the tide of loneliness.