La Jolla, May 7, 2014 A major breakthrough in the mystery of the apparent mass suicide among whales seem to have a plausible explanation. Dr Pungent Beach found the reason when discovering shopping carts among the rotting whale carcasses. He explains: “It seems that many whales are highly dyslexic and that whales on shopping spree have been looking for the closest Whalemart”.
A class-action lawsuit against WalMart to immediately change their name has been initiated by whale preservation organisations. WalMart has refrained to comment, but have announced that they will start to market whale meat as a cheap alternative to beef.
I decided to try something new today. First I have never tried the news-clip as a form, and secondly I wanted to add a bit of humor.
I also wanted to make all aware on the terrible ordeals of fellow blogger rarasaur is in. Many of you have probably read her stories, and enjoyed them. Read and decide how you want to support her and her husband.
Friday Fictioneers is a blogging community where we each week write 100 words stories, read comment and if we want include constructive criticism. Go to Rochelle’s page and get introduced.
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May 7, 2014
This is really different and I enjoyed…
Its so inspiring that I wish to write something in this style!
To always wary the form is one way to stretch your writing skills…
Dear Björn,
Whalemart? Pun and games that. i’m trying to imagine whales on a shopping spree. Clever. I like the newspaper form. .
shalom,
Rochelle
Whales at walmart.. would they even be noticed?… Maybe they are already shopping there..
I’ve seen a few suspicious shoppers. But can whales wear tank tops and flip flops?
Probably not… but who really knows…
You nailed the form, good work 🙂
Thank you.. 🙂
A clever tale! Actually whale meat might be quite nice…!
I know.. I loved it as a kid.. we bought it from Norway…
Bjorn, I like your humor. 🙂 I would say that some of the new Walmarts could easily be called Whalemart, with how big they have gotten. Poor whales, although maybe they dodged a bullet by not finding the store. 🙂
indeed.. it could be seen as a more merciful end…
I love the newsreel style and the whale pun was brilliant! Very funny…
Thank you.. 🙂 I tried to change my ordinary poetic style to something different
Superb, Bjorn! You nailed that one. I seriously wish our news writers where I work could write as well as this. Funny story, too, under the heading of “what we REALLY would like to read about.” Emmy winner!
Ha.. coming from you this was a great compliment… Yes indeed news like this would be remembered.
This is a funny story. You did well with your experiment. Diversity is a great talent to have under your belt.
Thank you.. yes experimenting in style is what’s make blogging fun..
Humour? Bjorn, what’s come over you. This was very silly, and I enjoyed it very much.
and you and Jennifer write poetry.. yes this is a different week.. 🙂
Bjorn, Hilarious. XD Where has this off-the-wall humor been hiding. Poor whales though. 😥 I think that’s rather unfeeling of Walmart to start selling whale meat after the death of all those whales. Well done. 🙂
Susan
I think walmart saw an opportunity to get rid of some of the stranded whales in a cost-effective manner… and yes — I feel bad for the whales too..
Okay, I love puns, so this was amazing.
Ha,, yes I really do that too.. but I normally write poetry.
We must have been channeling a similar muse today, Bjorn, so I must say how fabulous your story is. 🙂 You already know I like puns and humor, so I really enjoyed this. A whale of a story!
janet
Ha, actually it was after a comment from Russell.. It had to be humor
Since we both did humor, I think Russell needs to write a dark horror story this week. 🙂
Or romance 😉
Thanks for thinking of me, guys. I’ve never wrote a dark horror story in my life, but I have dabbled in woemance (so what if the girl had a speech defect.)
Cleverly done, Bjorn. I can see whales in flip-flops and tank tops. Why not? Good take with an entirely different format.
That really captured the essence of a new sound bite. Very clever.
Groan 🙂
Groan is good.
I love how the picture captures the beauty of water and land. Awesome touch. 🙂
The prompt is a picture prompt.. and we all write to the same picture
You did funny and it worked!
My dear, Bjorn, this worked beautifully. Thanks for trying your hand a something new. The humour is just dark enough with a touch of realism to make it poignant.
All my best,
Marie Gail
A very clever and hilarious story, Bjorn. Loved it.
Funny, and I will use the name Dr. Pungent Beach myself, with your permission, as soon as possible!
That would be an honor…
This is the king of humor I love. Nicely done, and good imagination.
Very funny! Loved both the form and content!
Dear Bjorn,
You been eating with Russell Gayer lately? Nice work. is that how they spell ‘dyslexic’ over there?
Aloha,
Doug
ha.. yes correct Swedish… I will of course correct 🙂 .. and Russel is a great inspiration…
Actually I checked the dictionary.. dyslectic and dyslexic are synonyms in English… In Swedish dyslektisk is the correct way.. therefore I made the choice of word.
This is the first time I have seen a news story style response to the Friday Fictioneers prompt. I had a whale of time reading it :p
A lot of protests against Whalemart across the globe. We need to chat with the Prince of Whales. A strong will is required as we all know where there is will there is a whale.
Your title intrigued me, but still I wasn’t suspecting humor from you. As soon as I read “Whalemart,” I literally busted out laughing. I wish you’d given me a heads up so I could avoid spilling my hot tea! Anyway, amazing play on words, and I loved how you added a touch of corporate conspiracy at the end. I truly loved this story, I did!
Oops.. yes I know that I shouldn’t drink coffee while reading some stories.. There should be a label warning against drinking tea… my apologies
Bjorn, that’s so funny, I’m literally blubbering about the house right now. Ok, bad pun aside, this was a humorous story. Very different from your previous offerings. Sounds like you had a whale of a time. Okay, I’ll stop now. Also took the time to look at rararsaur’s blog. Ouch!
Here I am knocking Japan and other countries for hunting whales, and along comes Walmart! Ugh.
Thanks for sharing Rarar’s story… I was deeply saddened and shocked when I read it earlier!
kudos to walmart! it’s good for the environment. better sell the meat rather allow them to rot on the beach.
These big corporations, always looking to make a buck! I loved the name of the scientist – “Dr Pungent Beach” 🙂
Ah, yah, yah….You made me laugh!! 😀 Absolute genius! Mine on the other and is as sombre as it gets! Darn fine job, very well done! 😀
I like the mass suicide angle, but most likely it was a serial harpooner. Maybe you could write another about a mad scientist trying to milk sperm whales. 🙂 Great humor this week, Bjorn. Keep it coming.
Ah.. Now I can’t sleep .. that thought of whale-milk makes my stomach rumble
A surreal approach this week, Bjorn. Surrealism can be a good vehicle for serious issues. I visited Rarasaur’s blog and read enough to understand her predicament. There but for the grace of … go all of us. Not everyone gets a happy ending. Sad. Ann
Nice one. You could start as an intern on your local free weekly. And then on to the NY Times. But best check your facts!
You made me laugh, Bjorn 😀 Very funny stuff!
That was hilarious. I love the news story method. Marketing whale meat? Oh, dear. Excellent story. Lucy
Something had to be done about all those whales.. 🙂
This was so funny, you really made me laugh. Great job!
Bjorn, I really enjoyed this. It’s quite funny. I’m going to pass on the whale meat.
Do you remember Dr. John? His Fiction Friday posts often felt like this.
I think it might have been before I started to do Friday Fictioneers…
i love the Dr. Pungent Beach name 🙂 and well, you splashed up a very humorous story this week, Bjorn!
LOL. Those poor dyslexic whales. Very funny and very clever. Really enjoyed reading this. Wish I had your imagination. 🙂
Wal-Mart deserves every bit of this bad publicity. A neat take on the prompt, Bjorn, and it was a little surprising — and enjoyable — to see humor in your offering.
Dyslexics of the world, untie! Including the whales.
Seems a lot of FFeers are in a humorous mood this week. Maybe it’s the arrival of spring (in most areas; we won’t mention Calgary).
Dr Pungent Beach must have been dedicated to the cause, researching in among all those rotting whale carcasses!
Perfectly pitched
Lol…droll indeed a good twist.