When shopping sprees go wrong


La Jolla, May 7, 2014 A major breakthrough in the mystery of the apparent mass suicide among whales seem to have a plausible explanation. Dr Pungent Beach found the reason when discovering shopping carts among the rotting whale carcasses. He explains: “It seems that many whales are highly dyslexic and that whales on shopping spree have been looking for the closest Whalemart”.
A class-action lawsuit against WalMart to immediately change their name has been initiated by whale preservation organisations. WalMart has refrained to comment, but have announced that they will start to market whale meat as a cheap alternative to beef.


I decided to try something new today. First I have never tried the news-clip as a form, and secondly I wanted to add a bit of humor.

I also wanted to make all aware on the terrible ordeals of fellow blogger rarasaur is in. Many of you have probably read her stories, and enjoyed them. Read and decide how you want to support her and her husband.

Friday Fictioneers is a blogging community where we each week write 100 words stories, read comment and if we want include constructive criticism. Go to Rochelle’s page and get introduced.



May 7, 2014

71 responses to “When shopping sprees go wrong

  1. Dear Björn,

    Whalemart? Pun and games that. i’m trying to imagine whales on a shopping spree. Clever. I like the newspaper form. .

    shalom,

    Rochelle

  2. Bjorn, I like your humor. 🙂 I would say that some of the new Walmarts could easily be called Whalemart, with how big they have gotten. Poor whales, although maybe they dodged a bullet by not finding the store. 🙂

  3. Superb, Bjorn! You nailed that one. I seriously wish our news writers where I work could write as well as this. Funny story, too, under the heading of “what we REALLY would like to read about.” Emmy winner!

  4. Humour? Bjorn, what’s come over you. This was very silly, and I enjoyed it very much.

  5. Bjorn, Hilarious. XD Where has this off-the-wall humor been hiding. Poor whales though. 😥 I think that’s rather unfeeling of Walmart to start selling whale meat after the death of all those whales. Well done. 🙂

    Susan

  6. We must have been channeling a similar muse today, Bjorn, so I must say how fabulous your story is. 🙂 You already know I like puns and humor, so I really enjoyed this. A whale of a story!

    janet

  7. My dear, Bjorn, this worked beautifully. Thanks for trying your hand a something new. The humour is just dark enough with a touch of realism to make it poignant.

    All my best,
    Marie Gail

  8. Dear Bjorn,

    You been eating with Russell Gayer lately? Nice work. is that how they spell ‘dyslexic’ over there?

    Aloha,

    Doug

  9. This is the first time I have seen a news story style response to the Friday Fictioneers prompt. I had a whale of time reading it :p

  10. A lot of protests against Whalemart across the globe. We need to chat with the Prince of Whales. A strong will is required as we all know where there is will there is a whale.

  11. Your title intrigued me, but still I wasn’t suspecting humor from you. As soon as I read “Whalemart,” I literally busted out laughing. I wish you’d given me a heads up so I could avoid spilling my hot tea! Anyway, amazing play on words, and I loved how you added a touch of corporate conspiracy at the end. I truly loved this story, I did!

  12. Bjorn, that’s so funny, I’m literally blubbering about the house right now. Ok, bad pun aside, this was a humorous story. Very different from your previous offerings. Sounds like you had a whale of a time. Okay, I’ll stop now. Also took the time to look at rararsaur’s blog. Ouch!

  13. Here I am knocking Japan and other countries for hunting whales, and along comes Walmart! Ugh.
    Thanks for sharing Rarar’s story… I was deeply saddened and shocked when I read it earlier!

  14. These big corporations, always looking to make a buck! I loved the name of the scientist – “Dr Pungent Beach” 🙂

  15. I like the mass suicide angle, but most likely it was a serial harpooner. Maybe you could write another about a mad scientist trying to milk sperm whales. 🙂 Great humor this week, Bjorn. Keep it coming.

  16. A surreal approach this week, Bjorn. Surrealism can be a good vehicle for serious issues. I visited Rarasaur’s blog and read enough to understand her predicament. There but for the grace of … go all of us. Not everyone gets a happy ending. Sad. Ann

  17. That was hilarious. I love the news story method. Marketing whale meat? Oh, dear. Excellent story. Lucy

  18. i love the Dr. Pungent Beach name 🙂 and well, you splashed up a very humorous story this week, Bjorn!

  19. LOL. Those poor dyslexic whales. Very funny and very clever. Really enjoyed reading this. Wish I had your imagination. 🙂

  20. Wal-Mart deserves every bit of this bad publicity. A neat take on the prompt, Bjorn, and it was a little surprising — and enjoyable — to see humor in your offering.

  21. Dyslexics of the world, untie! Including the whales.
    Seems a lot of FFeers are in a humorous mood this week. Maybe it’s the arrival of spring (in most areas; we won’t mention Calgary).

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