The bleeding sun – Second verse for dVerse

the bleeding sun
paints rivers that meander
cross the sea
that ceased to move
in dying evening wind

I hear sailors curse
their burning sails
that ceased to move
so boats can cruise
and bring them home
to kiss their waiting girls

Yet an effort to use verbs in writing poetry for dVerse with Victoria.

January 15, 2014

27 responses to “The bleeding sun – Second verse for dVerse

  1. in the second part of this i like that your verbs are c’s….they play well together sound wise…you have captured a bit of the beauty of the painting in your words…

  2. The sailors’ curses are ringing in my ears. I could see each line that you wrote in my mind…vivid word pictures. You brought the art to life 🙂

  3. Oh there is something so romantic in this piece.. It’s so beautiful, I can just picture those girls waiting for those sailors to come home!!! What lovely imagery!

  4. Sailboats with no wind are in the doldrums – ie the Horse latitudes. I like your verbs, and you’ve made a much better use of ‘bleeding’ than the current youthspeak swearing! Isn’t Turner fabulous?

  5. Yes, yes, active verbs illuminating dead calm; when the wind dies, and the sails go slack, and night is upon the sailor, that’s when the auxiliary motor is cranked up; just as this second effort of yours further enhanced our responses to the prompt; nice job.

  6. ah i can understand that they urgently wanna go back…oy…but hey…there’s so much beauty in those “burning” sails…love the pic as well

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