Their loaded machine guns could not been seen against the blinding searchlights, but Jorge knew the routines. He recalled the guards’ jargon and how they had quenched memories at the village bar. Memories of bodies sent floating down the river. A loud togetherness despised by silent villagers.
That was before he saw Maria’s pale face in his sniper’s sight, and his finger had been unable to release the trigger. It was before he waited silently hoping that someone up there would hesitate and release him to the other side.
Maria might still be waiting with their unborn child.
Copyright Douglas M MacIlroy
I couldn’t make myself writing about the Eiffeltower. So I give you this little tale instead. It was written flying home again after spending Christmas at the wonderful island of Madeira. I hope there might be a picture or two I can share later.
Friday Fictioneers is community of bloggers who under the leadership of Rochelle Wisoff-Fields write a story of 100 words or so on the same picture. If you want to join in, follow the link above or just click the blue guy below for many great stories.
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December 26, 2013
Björn Rudbergs writings 
What a story, enjoyed this one ~ Merry Christmas Bjorn ~
Merry Christmas Grace.. just back from a great vacation
This is an excellent story Bjorn, I really enjoyed reading. Happy New Year.
Thank you Michael. This one came to me quite easily after imagining it as a watchtower
Superb, tense atmosphere. And realistic tale with an awful choice suddenly thrust onto the man. You magnified the 100 words.
Thank you.. I tried to capture a whole story into the moment it takes to read it…
Loved this. You’re decision to avoid obvious interpretations paid off.
Thank you .. The obvious is so difficult to make good…
Love flash fiction…bam-beautiful.
Thank you.. I love to write them
Another lovely short story Bjorn!
Thank you Bryan.. 🙂
Beautifully captured in a few words. Well done Bjorn.
Thank you Sandra.. I enjoyed taking this route.
excellent, Björn! i hope your Christmas was as awesome. 🙂
My Christmas was awesome indeed.. Madeira is a place of beauty and wonder…
Dear Björn,
Naturally, I applaud your decision not to write an Eiffel Tower story. 😉 Wonderfully told story with an unexpected ending.
Hope your holiday was wonderful. I’m looking forward to any photos you decide to send.
Shalom,
Rochelle
I think I will send you a few pictures from Madeira to choose from… I had FF in mind when taking my pictures.
I sent you a bunch of photos.. hope that some of them are usable… 😉
That’s a great story. You always have some top-notch stuff.
Thank you.. I actually write it very short and then I can colour my story afterwards… So far I have never had to cut down the words….
oh my goodness… a story in 100 words… you did well… heck… maybe i should give it a try… and madeira sounds wonderful… i’m a little bit jealous…smiles
The Friday Fictioneers is a very nice community… It works well to write poetry as well…
nice tension in your story…conflicting interests…would be impossible to pull that trigger on my family…and if i watched them be taken out i would surely follow quickly….
The dilemma of living a dictatorship I think… I almost gave them Korean names to start with…
Very powerful story, Bjorn. Extremely tight and well written.
Thank you.. a great compliment indeed.
Great story – I love the idea of “quenching memories” at the bar.
I think that would be the only way to deal with it.
An unexpected take. Riveting piece of prose.
Thank you.. Unexpected is good 😉
Excellent writing, Bjorn. The bodies floating down the river paint quite a disturbing image!
It should.. I think I would quench memories myself even if I never gripped the gun.
I didn’t ‘see’ the Eiffel Tower, so my story isn’t about it either. I like “quenching memories” – very descriptive.
Thank you… yes those memories would decay the mind more than any liquor
I loved the ‘loud togetherness despised by the silent villagers’. great story Bjorn 🙂
I thought I could see those guards, being apart from the villagers… thank you for your comment.
i heard one writer said that tension is everything. excellent piece.
Thank you.. tension can be achieved in many ways
Really like where you went here, Björn. The bright lights took me away from the Tour de Eiffel, as well. I like that you went where the photo took you, instead of where you think it was suppose to be. The phrases “loud togetherness despise by the silent villagers,” “they quenched memories at the village bar,” just beautiful!
Thank you.. I wanted to capture that feeling of tension at a village close to a border…
You’ve done it… I was dying t use that title. So compelling, that song, and I think your story picks that up.
Reblogged this on hazzerato's Blog and commented:
Lol
Dear Bjorn,
Welcome back from Madeira. I spent two weeks on New Zealand while you were gone. I applaud your decision not to write about the tower. Good story, no matter what the inspiration.
Have you ever had the pleasure of listening to The Limelighters sing Have some Madeira, My Dear? http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vrbAyHVVYgI
Hope you like it.
Aloha,
Doug
Ha.. Funny piece of song… Really Madeira is quite good.. Especially the vintages. It has a real interesting story…
A powerful piece of writing Björn. Well done.
Thank you Mike…
Edge of the seat stuff, definitely tensions and emotions running high. When you start a piece with ‘Their loaded machine guns…’ you immediately feel the weight of the situation. I’m exhausted now. Great story.
Thank you Mike.. I really wanted to pack as much as possible into 100 words…
Nice story – I can stretch the tower to be where the sniper is. No problem.
Scott
Mine: http://kindredspirit23.wordpress.com/2013/12/26/ff-friday-fictioneers-carolyn-leaves-reality-rated-r-12272013/
Oh I hope not… the sniper should be looking the other way.
Hmm, now I am intrigued.