your fences leave me here alone
defenceless I’m cast away
to wait outside for you to change
ceaseless lingering, I stay
but from inside I smell decay
and cheerless attitudes
I feel a bloodless sun that burns
in cloudless gratitude
imprisoned to get rid of me
a blissless choice you made
opposed we’re hurling heavy words
like graceless cutting blades
we wither in togetherness
in gainless fortitude
I cannot leave, I have to stay
a fruitless turpitude
but suddenly I grasp the key
in fearless bravery
I cross the border of the law
in reckless savory
break our listless loneliness
Copyright Randy Mazie
This week I wanted to do a little wordplay in my poem. I hope it makes sense. I managed to keep it at exactly 100 words. Hope it sings for you.
Friday Fictioneers invites bloggers from around the world to try their wings on writing 100 words on the same picture. Rochelle Wisoff-Fields does a wonderful job of keeping us all aligned.
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December 4, 2013
Björn Rudbergs writings 
Love these lines..”opposed we’re hurling heavy words
like graceless cutting blades”
Beautifully written
a bloodless sun that burns in cloudless gratitude…hurling heavy words like graceless cutting blades… sheer beauty! 🙂
To be tied…and broken. Like binary stars who can neither embrace final destruction, nor break gravity and set off for the emptiness of space.
In those first two lines, I thought “de-fence-less” would work, too. Not that you should have put that, but it means the same thing and plays off the first line.
“your fences leave me here alone
defenceless I’m cast away.”
Enjoyed the poem a lot.
janet
beautiful!
Very nice Bjorn, I too liked the link between fences/defenceless.
ha. ok, i like the wordplay…the fence and defenceless…dun…but also makes for a hard place of being when those knife blade words are cast about cutting….nice rhythm to this as well…
That great last line…
This seems to have very epic undertones, in the original meaning of the word “epic”.
I really enjoyed how you interpreted this picture, and used the metaphors of fences and imprisonment. Wonderful, darling.
Dear Björn,
You used words like an artist uses paint. I particularly liked “we wither in togetherness” which, unfortunately, describes too many relationships. Well done.
shalom,
Rochelle
Thank you.. best compliment I have ever received… wow..
Lovely Bjorn-it did sing for me and my fav ?”we wither in togetherness
in gainless fortitude
I cannot leave, I have to stay
a fruitless turpitude” 🙂
Lots of metaphors in this sad relationship. Like Rochelle said, I like the way you paint with words.
Truly excellent piece, Bjorn, very powerful.
Beautiful, Bjorn..and to say this when you are describing something so sad and painful. I liked, “we’re hurling heavy words
like graceless cutting blades.” Side note: Is the last word “loneliness?”
Thank you – and a little spelling error sneaked in
Hardly noticed. It’s such a beautiful piece though, so I wanted to mention it.
A local printmaker (may his soul rest in peace) – John Muafangejo’s works were assembled in a book called: ”I am Lonelyness”. Loved this story. Now that internet is a little back here where I am I may very well take part in the FF collaboration again.
I can identify with this, I’m sure I’m not the only one. Very well-crafted – the delivery is just right.
So many beautiful lines in this poem, Bjorn. Great work!
were all the “less” words intentional? that’s not a criticism, just a curiosity of mine, to know if you wanted that repetition or if it just happened that way. i’d have to guess it was intentional.
Oh yes.. very much intentional.. Repetition is one of many poetic trick we can play with.. as for meter, I tried to follow that of an English ballad..
I am very impressed!!!
Scott
Mine: http://kindredspirit23.wordpress.com/2013/12/04/ff-friday-fictioneers-keeping-watch-rated-pg13-1262013/