The snow arrived early and stuck to his eye-lashes with the cold bitterness of tears he was unable to produce. He had gained weight and stopped caring for himself, but still he only felt anger filling the void they had left in his chest.
emptiness –
how a beating heart
echoes
He passed the empty swings, and in the silent dark night he could still envision the summer days he had spent here, when their laughter filled his world like the fluttering wings of butterflies. This was before he had lost his job, before his fists had spoken of failures, before the police came.
clenched fists –
all what’s never said
with tears
He had lost their life even more than his own. But he still could save the son that had his father’s fists. He knocked the door, and the young girl opening had done her best to hide her bruises behind thick layers of make-up.
“Leave now” – he said, “I will save my son”.
heritage –
your father’s sins
screams within
Picture by Mangua Gunn
This week I’m hosting dVerse OLN. Pub opens at 3 PM EST. I combine this week with Ligo Haibun entry. I have chosen to go purely fiction from my own point of view. I cannot say how important I think tears are for human beings Please cry if it’s needed, the alternative is worse.
—
October 15, 2013
Björn Rudbergs writings 
Well Bjorn this offering is so different than anything I’ve seen you do. It is nice to ssee you spread your wings a bit. I like the combination of the prose followed by a haiku (correct me if ?I’m wrong) ‘translation’. Very interesting. >KB
Thank you. Yes variation is what makes it interesting
Sadly these kinds of patterns do follow from father to son oftentimes. I wonder if it is already too late for the son or if the father will be able to save him (and the young woman). The haibun form worked well for your theme.
With KB, I like the combination and the story-telling, with each short poem a stop and pivot. It has the feel of a longer piece.
Awesome. I completely agree that tears are essential.
The form works well with the story you tell as the haiku provide well-needed pauses in the raw narrative. I totally agree with you on the importance of tears.
A very painful (emotionally) story
made me shiver… rang very true.
Is it possible to save the son any longer? Maybe his victims..honest theme and great effort
This is so thoughtful, so emotionally difficult. Although 66 years of age and well today – my first husband was an abuser, one who never stopped. So good that here the father wishes change for his son.
Bjorn I have two questions with which I hope that you can assist me. I have successfully put the 2 dots over the “O” in your name once. Now I cannot find or remember how to do it. Can you tell me? Also, I have been to Ligo Haibun. I have Googles it. But to no avail have I found the description of “Ligo” what does it mean? Thanks so much, Liz
The dots over my name… If you are on an pad it’s easy. Just hold down the the o button, and you get the choice of different accents to o.. On a PC keyboard it’s more difficult… so i don’t really mind being Bjorn…
As to what Ligo means.. it took me a while to figure out, But it’s actually a day (June 23) in Latvia where the summer solstice is celebrated.
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/J%C4%81%C5%86i
Bjorn thank you so much for taking the time. Perhaps I was on my iPad when I succeeded. And Ligo? What a surprise that was. Very interesting.
This is some strong writing full of emotions.
I like the haibun Bjorn ~ The narrative provided the background but the emotional depth came from the short verses ~ A tough topic to talk about ~
I hope there is some closure & peace to their lives ~
oh dang…that made my breath stop… it’s so sad when the tears and emptiness turn into violence…and the part with the girl..tough..i hope he can save his son….i so hope he manages…
Without a doubt, tears are vital. In the past two years I have learned this lesson, and I am grateful for that. A very strong and moving haibun, without a doubt.
I enjoyed being swept away in the rhythm of this pattern.
whew…what a story eh?once you hit that slippery slope too it seems everything starts to go wrong…and you can not save yourself from it…it just gets worse and….and then it passes on to the next and…..hopefully they can save each other….
Oh… that is a powerful haibun. Thought-provoking… how violence and misdeeds come to become a part of someone’s life.
Very well-written.
-HA
I love the variation in your work today Bjorn. It’s a sad and dark topic that is all too real. Glad the dad wanted to try and save his son, even though he had given up on life. Great writing and thanks for hosting OLN. I shall be by later to drop a poem.
Sins of the father visited on his sons…and so it goes. Apples don’t fall far from trees. Hate is learned not encoded, violence may be otherwise. Topping it off, over here we arm them. It’s come to a terrible time worldwide, I fear.
A dark subject, but there is a light shining. Thank you for writing of these things.
Really liked the way you structured this – very well done. I loved the shifting perspectives, like watching a film.
Thank you Buddah.. I thought of it as chapters in a book.. but film works well too.
This rang true to me..and I hope they can save each other.
This brought tears to my eyes. The story, your amazing haiku. Deeply emotional.
this really moved me, the anger, sadness, the move toward redemption… & those empty swings, all but broke my heart
To me the ending was unexpected and revealing. I want to know what happens next. And, yeah, I’ve got the tears.
Very hard but so necessary to read. I agree that we must express grief or it can consume and distort us, ruining lives in the process.
So often abuse is learned at home, and the sins of the father perpetuate through the child. I like how this story took a twist, with the father realizing what kind of person he was, and wanted to save his son from becoming that man. Besides anger and violence, holding any emotions inside can lead to physical, emotional and mental health problems. Best to get help!
Wow, a really strong piece. Love the focus on the fists and how the father wants to stop history from repeating itself. You blew me away with this one.
so sad, indeed. well told. I like the poetry-prose mix.
emptiness –
how a beating heart
echoes
holy! wow! You have made my day with this poem of yours.
What inspired you to write this amazing poem?
I’m a fan of your work by the way. 🙂
Bjorn,
I liked how you composed this mixing the two styles to form a story with a powerful message and yes, it did make me feel a bit weepy.
Dang! This is powerful, Bjorn! And, unfortunately, I can so relate. I was too much like my father when I was young; if you catch my drift.
So very true, but did not weep at my zoo lol
This is so potent and powerful, in so few words. I love the form you used, the poetry to echo the sentiments of the prose… really effective. we can only hope there is still time for saving.
It’s heartbreaking, but hopeful, that is what I like. Tears can be healing, empowering even. Tears of hope. ~Lupi
This is wonderful. So much emotion in a short poem. Loved the imagery.
Superbly-crafted, dark haibun. The rhythm of the piece is amazing. The topic heartbreaking, the message simple but rings true. I have a friend here who is a nurse and she can say how true your words are, sadly. On a dark humourous note,I know what you mean by the writing itself getting darker now. I looked at my writing of last year in late Autumn and was shocked by the darkness. But back to your piece:to me this is a ‘reference haibun’. You are an innovator!
rather intriguing…and so unusual for what I have read from you in the short time I have been following. It is good to exercise different styles, forms and writing endeavors…inspiring to see.
My soul hurt as I read this poem…hurt for all those children who do know their father’s fists far too well. A good reminder to all of us dads that our kids need our hugs and hands of gentle persuasion rather than our anger.
BR so powerful and sad, this combination of your Haibun and free write worked well. I agree with Pirate and everyone else who has commented. Thank you for being adventurous, for telling a story that needs to be said out loud and not behind closed doors.
Powerful, sad and soulful.
Yikes, the mix of poetry and prose describes cycle of violence very well . Terrible events– fist like screwed up faces. K.
Its fiction, yea, but looks so real.. Lovely pictures got shown here! Love the appearance..
I felt a lot from this writing. You have a good grasp of human behavior. Here I saw this man’s repentance. Not just that he couldn’t cry but more importantly that he did cry within and took action to make a change. Good writing.
A sad story and not so uncommon unfortunately. well told in that interesting form.
A deeply emotional write!
Emptiness – how a beating heart echoes. You have captured it so well and told such a true tale. Wish more fathers would step in to rescue their sons like the narrator did. Great write, Bjorn. Love your comment after too, about necessary tears.
A very, very powerful write my friend. Wow…epic, dramatic and heart deep.
Excellent! This is really good.
Even with the dark tones this is a very powerful emotional haibun. Unexpected interpretation and where it took me.
you created a horrible moment that unfortunately goes on and on in many lives – the flow of your haibun with haiku pauses in between adds to this wonderfully written piece.
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OH HOW i can relate to this devoid of all emotions for over 5 years..where a tear was the only thing to save my soul….