His father’s fists – Ligo Haibun

The snow arrived early and stuck to his eye-lashes with the cold bitterness of tears he was unable to produce. He had gained weight and stopped caring for himself, but still he only felt anger filling the void they had left in his chest.

emptiness –
how a beating heart

He passed the empty swings, and in the silent dark night he could still envision the summer days he had spent here, when their laughter filled his world like the fluttering wings of butterflies. This was before he had lost his job, before his fists had spoken of failures, before the police came.

clenched fists –
all what’s never said
with tears

He had lost their life even more than his own. But he still could save the son that had his father’s fists. He knocked the door, and the young girl opening had done her best to hide her bruises behind thick layers of make-up.
“Leave now” – he said, “I will save my son”.

heritage –
your father’s sins
screams within

Picture by Mangua Gunn

Picture by Mangua Gunn

This week I’m hosting dVerse OLN. Pub opens at 3 PM EST. I combine this week with Ligo Haibun entry. I have chosen to go purely fiction from my own point of view. I cannot say how important I think tears are for human beings Please cry if it’s needed, the alternative is worse.

October 15, 2013

56 responses to “His father’s fists – Ligo Haibun

  1. Well Bjorn this offering is so different than anything I’ve seen you do. It is nice to ssee you spread your wings a bit. I like the combination of the prose followed by a haiku (correct me if ?I’m wrong) ‘translation’. Very interesting. >KB

  2. Sadly these kinds of patterns do follow from father to son oftentimes. I wonder if it is already too late for the son or if the father will be able to save him (and the young woman). The haibun form worked well for your theme.

  3. The form works well with the story you tell as the haiku provide well-needed pauses in the raw narrative. I totally agree with you on the importance of tears.

  4. This is so thoughtful, so emotionally difficult. Although 66 years of age and well today – my first husband was an abuser, one who never stopped. So good that here the father wishes change for his son.

    Bjorn I have two questions with which I hope that you can assist me. I have successfully put the 2 dots over the “O” in your name once. Now I cannot find or remember how to do it. Can you tell me? Also, I have been to Ligo Haibun. I have Googles it. But to no avail have I found the description of “Ligo” what does it mean? Thanks so much, Liz

  5. I like the haibun Bjorn ~ The narrative provided the background but the emotional depth came from the short verses ~ A tough topic to talk about ~
    I hope there is some closure & peace to their lives ~

  6. oh dang…that made my breath stop… it’s so sad when the tears and emptiness turn into violence…and the part with the girl..tough..i hope he can save his son….i so hope he manages…

  7. Without a doubt, tears are vital. In the past two years I have learned this lesson, and I am grateful for that. A very strong and moving haibun, without a doubt.

  8. whew…what a story eh?once you hit that slippery slope too it seems everything starts to go wrong…and you can not save yourself from it…it just gets worse and….and then it passes on to the next and…..hopefully they can save each other….

  9. Oh… that is a powerful haibun. Thought-provoking… how violence and misdeeds come to become a part of someone’s life.
    Very well-written.

  10. I love the variation in your work today Bjorn. It’s a sad and dark topic that is all too real. Glad the dad wanted to try and save his son, even though he had given up on life. Great writing and thanks for hosting OLN. I shall be by later to drop a poem.

  11. Sins of the father visited on his sons…and so it goes. Apples don’t fall far from trees. Hate is learned not encoded, violence may be otherwise. Topping it off, over here we arm them. It’s come to a terrible time worldwide, I fear.

  12. So often abuse is learned at home, and the sins of the father perpetuate through the child. I like how this story took a twist, with the father realizing what kind of person he was, and wanted to save his son from becoming that man. Besides anger and violence, holding any emotions inside can lead to physical, emotional and mental health problems. Best to get help!

  13. This is so potent and powerful, in so few words. I love the form you used, the poetry to echo the sentiments of the prose… really effective. we can only hope there is still time for saving.

  14. Superbly-crafted, dark haibun. The rhythm of the piece is amazing. The topic heartbreaking, the message simple but rings true. I have a friend here who is a nurse and she can say how true your words are, sadly. On a dark humourous note,I know what you mean by the writing itself getting darker now. I looked at my writing of last year in late Autumn and was shocked by the darkness. But back to your piece:to me this is a ‘reference haibun’. You are an innovator!

  15. rather intriguing…and so unusual for what I have read from you in the short time I have been following. It is good to exercise different styles, forms and writing endeavors…inspiring to see.

  16. My soul hurt as I read this poem…hurt for all those children who do know their father’s fists far too well. A good reminder to all of us dads that our kids need our hugs and hands of gentle persuasion rather than our anger.

  17. BR so powerful and sad, this combination of your Haibun and free write worked well. I agree with Pirate and everyone else who has commented. Thank you for being adventurous, for telling a story that needs to be said out loud and not behind closed doors.

  18. I felt a lot from this writing. You have a good grasp of human behavior. Here I saw this man’s repentance. Not just that he couldn’t cry but more importantly that he did cry within and took action to make a change. Good writing.

  19. Emptiness – how a beating heart echoes. You have captured it so well and told such a true tale. Wish more fathers would step in to rescue their sons like the narrator did. Great write, Bjorn. Love your comment after too, about necessary tears.

  20. you created a horrible moment that unfortunately goes on and on in many lives – the flow of your haibun with haiku pauses in between adds to this wonderfully written piece.

  21. Pingback: Līgo Haibun Challenge – Word Prompt | Ese' s Voice·

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