as the path leads
my feet read truths
of deeds undone
Pere Jean’s Path by Paul Gaugain
Thanbauk is a Burmese verse style with three lines, each having 4 syllables. It should have rhymes in each line.
x x x a
x x a x
x a x x
I tried to mix this with a little haiku for fun. Thanbauk should usually be humoristic, but here it’s freestyle. Time to invent.
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Linked to Carpe Diem
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October 13, 2013
rejuvenatement - not retirement
words and scribble.
The Quantumverse
Poetry
About fantastical places and other stuff
Sharing my thoughts, poems, travel & art
Taotalk is a forum for the discussion of both the academic and pragmatic aspects of dao and Daoism, with participants expressing themselves on Daoist writings and pragmatics from their unique perspectives. It serves as a community for Daoists, and those interested in Daoism, to gather and talk dao.
living on the equator but longing for snow
Passion for writing ignites my soul's momentum
Excellent
Thank you 🙂
The poem is beautiful. But I must keep it simple.
Simplicity is good.. the complexity lies in the content… but the rhymes here are not that complicated.
Fascinating – I must look into this with more detail. Really very interesting.
I just found the form, and it lends itself to some nice cadence..
Never heard of this Thanbauk, but it is certainly worth a try. Maybe this thanbauk is somèthing for a new episode of ‘ little ones’.
Why not.. I just learned it by browsing through old instalments of old dVerse Form for all…
I like the haiku…I don’t understand the xxxa part but glad you can do such complex writing feats. Feats with hands…ha.
a indicate the syllable that should rhyme.. so the rhyme travels inwards for each line. leads – read – deeds.. not so complicated really.
I’m often drawn into your poetry by the visuals you post with them. I pondered this thandauk (never heard of this); … truths of deeds undone … leaves a wide scope – deeds that has been committed and then undone? Is this possible? Or deeds intended and never done? The latter is the best. I think.
Yes the deeds never done is preferable…. if they are good deeds they can be done, and bad deeds can be avoided. A walk in the woods can be good to make up ones mind.. or any walk for that matter.
Living close to nature as I do, I find going for a serious walk leaves space only or the walk and perhaps if I remember, to take a photograph. I often decide to not even take a photograph as it interferes with the whatever happens to one on such a walk. Sometimes I walk specifically to take the photo … a deed well done. But it takes a shift. I should try and write a poem about this!
And it is well done.
I like this form.