The burning in his eyes
and thickness of his throat
was this the moment when,
he would succumb to tears ?
—
To see her things on sale
the dress she wore
the linen were she slept
the trinket and the treasures,
here’s the final end.
—
Much more of her
was here
than by her grave.
—
He never would have thought
that loneliness would be
to see her things for sale,
like parting yet again.
—
He rested at the door
and waited for a while.
—
And then he walked away,
leaning ‘gainst his cane.
Realizing now at last:
He was a widower.
Copyright John Nixon
Friday Fictioneers is a group of bloggers headed by Rochelle Wissoff Fields who write a story about the same picture every week. Visit her page for more info, and you can join the fun if you want to. This week it’s a sad little story in the form of a poem. I used exactly 100 words.
For more stories:
September 18, 2013
Björn Rudbergs writings 
OH. Oh my heart, you painted such a tale of longing and remembering.
I loved the line about “more of her was here”. it was perfect.
I tried to walk in his shoes… and thought of how he saw her things for sale… yes sometimes I think those things are more a reminder than a tombstone.
they are, I mean I don’t know that firsthand, but my dad is deceased and doesn’t have a tombstone. I thought about the scent of his cologne on a man passing by or seeing his cuff links on my baby brother or even seeing his things for sale after he had died and he was “There” not in the water where his ashes are. I agree..and this was beautiful.
I think you’re right about the “things”, Bjorn. Those things are used daily and are part and parcel of a person. Very nice!!
janet
I forgot to add that having just moved and having had to get rid of lots of “things”, it can be very difficult while still alive. There are so many memories attached to “mere things.”
Yes some things are so important… and so many times my treasures are buried under meaningless stuff…
You certainly did walk in his shoes. Excellent. I felt his pain and sadness.
Sometimes it’s the best thing to try those shoes on…. they felt very heavy.
He never would have thought
“that loneliness would be
to see her things for sale,
like parting yet again.”
The feeling of losing old memories can be painful and hurtful at the same time. I like this poem a lot. 🙂
Thank you Charlie… the picture here told me a story… and I had to tell it.
And indeed…the stories you tell will sure make us feel that loneliness is something that we are not alone. 🙂
Bjorn you undid me with this one. Truly moving.
Thank you.. sadness can sometimes feel good though
Very true.
Now THAT is a tear jerker, Bjorn. I can see the lost look on his face as he scans the treasures one by one, trying to hold fast to each memory. The candlesticks he gave her on their golden anniversary, her smile when she touched his hand. A lifetime of stories in this one. Nicely done.
Ah you expanded the story. so I got tears in my eyes…
beautifully done.you spin a wonderfully sad tale
Thank you .. 🙂
a painful reality to face you have painted that initial shock so well
“Things” do carry memories and can bring a pleasant association to life or be a burden. That said, your poem is so real, and so poignant. Beautifully said, Bjorn.
Oh you wrote this perfectly….when I first saw the image that is where my mind went. Then read this and you wrote such a touching, sadly beautiful piece.
That was so touching 🙂
Really well done.>KB
So sweet, and so sad.
Oh, this is beautifully done. Your poem/story is poignant and emotional.
Poor man had such a rude reminder about being a widower. How does one dispassionately move away from such a scene!
Nicely spun this one.
The prompt begged this kind of story. Well done Bjorn.
I never thought of items in a second-hand store in this way, how you describe that more of his wife was in the store than by her grave. You hit a powerful chord in this one.
Very tender.
Dear Björn,
A very touching poem and so true. Well done, sir.
shalom,
Rochelle
Ach, adopting a label that enforces a status on you that you wish with all your heart wasn’t true – it hurts like hell. Telling somebody ‘I’m grieving’, in whatever form it takes (widower in this instance) is yet another part of life for which we receive no training. This was sensitively done, Bjorn.
Wow more of a picture than the picture.
Everyone’s story is an emotional one this time around.
Good Job!
Scott
Mine: http://kindredspirit23.wordpress.com/2013/09/18/friday-fictioneers-ff-good-will-bride-pg13/
Wow, Bjorn! As we say here, “you brought that one HOME!” Great take on the prompt.
Try mine now — http://kentbonham.wordpress.com/
Dear Bjorn,
Another great poem. You really stretch well. Of those that attempt to write poetry, you alone seem to pull it of with consistency. Well done.
Aloha,
Doug
Thank you – I wrote poetry every day which might help.. I also try to read it aloud for my self…
Such a horrible way to reach such a realisation. You brought this home so much better than with a prose piece by using the punchy meter.
Nice rhythm.
“like parting yet again”
you broke my heart. very emotional. yet beautiful.
*sigh* The reverse is very true when the widow must do the same.
Thanks for your visit to my take on this prompt.
Beautiful.
A tale of agony. Peeople feel the same way even if their partners are away for a long duration..realistic and painful
I felt his pain. When we cleaned out Mom’s house it was very emotional for me. So many of those little everyday items held memories. You nailed it!
The shape of your poem is the shape of a woman and also a sarcophagus. He sees first the woman then the sarcophagus? Very well crafted. So jealous! Ann
That just ripped my heart out. You packed a lot of emotion into this one.