I
smoo-ooth as silk, swaying in togetherness
her hand …. in her …
drum-d-d-drum – drum
ba-ba-BA-bass sway and swing
night together – candle flickering
smOOOth caress
diamonds and champagne
II
stale unshaven.
in unemployment emptiness
foreclosure letters, bills, bills …. BILLS
ceased to care
she left
III
dreamy blu-u-u-e
unlit cigarette
dangling from his lower lip —
humming – hum hum —
syncopate with taps tap-ta-ta-tap
fingertips on beer-stained formica
ta-tap –
raving screaming
solo — waaa-waaa- BANG BANG
WAAAH – BANG — lights shining
blue-light rhythmic stroboscope
woo woo woo — sirens synchronicity
syncopate Ta-tap-ta-ta-tap
IV
wailing saxophone – in tears
wa-wa-ta-ta-tap
strapped and turning – twisting
fingertips ta-tap-ta-tap
heartbeat bap-bap-bap-bap
verdigris the walls walls walls
clo-o-sing in and suf-suf-suf-ocate
ta-tap-ta-tap-ta.
V
with syringe diamonds finally
rel-e-e-e-ase
chemicals – bring silence
the saxophone and drum beats gone
breathing breathing silence
sleep
Copyright Björn Rudberg
Today at dVerse Form for all Gay has us writing jazz-poetry… quite far from my ordinary iambs. Hope this fulfills requirements for enough of onomatopoeia, jazz beats or rhythms. Listened to Miles Davis while writing it.
—
September 12, 2013
Björn Rudbergs writings 
Very impressive, Bjorn. Your poem gave us the whole experience. Loved all the sensory details. The sound effects really enhanced the mood, and hearing Miles Davis was a sweet addition. I’d say this was pretty ‘cool jazz.’
Thank you… think jazz music can be a little like a mental breakdown…
superb – and Miles was a force of nature
Indeed – love Miles Davis
Ha that was enjoyable to read! I love jazz and live seeing it in written word and captures very well.
Thank you .. Hope there will be even better Jazz poetry later 😉
Oh will look forward to that 🙂
love how you played with sounds here björn… and yeah…def. very different from your usual rhythm but very, very cool…love that you tell a story as well…
Thank you.. yes we have to venture outside our comfortzone every now and then…
Impressive. It has that melancholy feel that jazz can put us in.
Thank you kim.. 🙂
Bjorn, this was such a fun piece. Congratulations.>KB
Thank you… yes it was fun to play with sounds a little..
Picked up a new word here, brother-“Verdigris” & I do dig it. Great choice on the prompt to grind out the sounds to compliment & counterpoint the verse; uber cool write.
Thank you Glenn… and verdigris I see as that institutional green… yes a really cool word.
Very evocative poem Björn! I like the “wailing saxophone – in tears”.
Thank you.. I wanted to tell a story with the instruments…
Absolutely, things cease to matter when you are carried away by the plaintive wail of the saxophone…
Exactly… or your life becomes interweaved in that jazz
Amazing! I loved the onomatopoeia… greatly done. And the way story is weaved… wailing saxophone- spectacular. And such a cool drawing.
Thank you… the drawing is actually done in an an app from photo… but it was fun doing.
A way cool approach here. Often recordings have different takes – I felt you captured so much in this method: the sounds, the deliberation, the improvisation, the technique, and lastly, the oft-told story of many jazz musicians – so hooked on “playing fast and listening slow” provided by doing drugs which ruin them in the end. You get a big Wow!
Thank you… I wanted to play it to the extreme.. it was fun to climb out on a thin limb
You stepped outside of your comfort zone with great confidence and style. Wish I could do that too. The words become sounds and vice versa. Well done.
Thank you… yes it was playful to write… but I enjoyed yours quite a lot too.
Tap-a, tap-a, tap-a, sounds like you’re really digging the beat, man.
I dig it for sure
sweet… It plays its own melody to me.
Thank you… 🙂 I tried to live inside the music
Yeah Daddy-O, smooth as glass, us gin mill cowboys gotta stick together while the cool cats wail and noodle-it-out !! Quite the hootenanny at the pub tonight !!
tap-ta-tap-ta- 🙂 dig it
My fingertips are snapping — brilliant, Bjorn!
Thank you …
The tone of your words made me want to snap my fingers and picture you reciting this beautiful poem of Jazz space. 🙂
I dig this a lot man…:)
Thank a lot.. Yeah I wanted to record … But not quite
This brought to mind a time and place and some musicians that walked that walk. Excellent piece.
A thank you ;-(
🙂 sorry
Bjorn, I’d guess you are a musician or composer or arranger–if not, you are certainly a poet…probably a member of ASCAP–HA!
GoooD write!
Not musician – but I love to listen
Liking the sounds stretching across the page/ smooth/wailing saxophone ~ Cool share Bjorn ~
Fantastic aural devices, I really enjoyed this!
yes, you took us on a journey, even to a sad conclusion…well done
Beautiful, sexy, musical and sad. Perfect jazz.
I could really feel this one..as I danced along ta tap ta tap..you really let loose on this one and I could really feel it..
This really took us on a journey. Great poem Björn!
I like the “twisted finger tips” and the romantic angle you began with…I felt like I was dancing..
Yesssssssssssssssssssssssssssssss
I am totally in love with this poem. All over. Word placement, the onomatopoeia… everything. LOVE IT!
a tribute to jazz great, and the patterns of jazz improv language
Ah this is so good. Love the downward spiral that sounds so much like some of the wind down sounds in jazz.
So sad, Bjorn. The story reminds me of the novel “A Tree Grows in Brooklyn.” A classic read by Betty Smith. It’s an old movie too. I always wonder what is hidden in that soulful musice.
Miles Davis is pretty cool stuff. It blends very well with the cool write! A grand jazz rendition! Wonderful write Bjorn!
Hank
In this dimly lit basement bar there’s the strong smell of whiskey, a blue fug with some interesting aromas goin’ on; up there on the stage those guys are playing only for themselves but they’re letting us watch. You took me right there, Bjorn
Hey Bjorn – you have tapped out – in a poetic morse code–a whole story – such great rhythms here and great in and out of images as poetic themes- very vivid. k.