she’s volatile in soothing volumes,
with volcanoes deep inside
the whiffle as she whispers,
hides whimsiness beneath
she’s my summer substance,
with suaveness as a thin veneer
it hides her gruesome granite heart,
like growling moonshine beasts
we’re locked in our loneliness,
and lost on mountain roads
it’s leading us like lemmings,
we’re leaping from the edge
the wind from winter landscapes,
come whispers us to jump
and finally the falling,
our failing in togetherness
Are you jealous? by Paul Gaugain
Today at dVerse form for all Tony has doing alliterative verse. Should be three stressed syllables and one unstressed on each line. I have chosen to present it as two lines broken at the caesura. It’s fun and has a lot of meaning for me, as most of the old Nordic poetry of the poetic Edda is written in this form.
Björn Rudbergs writings 
Great alliteration.. It certainly gives a nice rhythm to the poem. I particularly loved the verse- “she’s volatile in soothing volumes, with volcanoes deep inside” Good play of words.
That part I did as a tweet on artwiculate earlier today. As a little warmup. 🙂
dang, i like the granite growling moonshine beast…great description…locked in loneliness is emotive…and the failing together…heh, i like that you used whiffle as well one of the words from the other night…nice…and i appreciate your encouragement…ha…far short, but hey…oy….
As a form I find it more challenging than meter… but the effect can be stunning… the alliteration really gives a rhythm. And of course some of the old poetry is still alive from the old Nordic writings.
lovely words…nice lines!
thank you 🙂
oh heck…that’s wonderful…melts on the tongue…suaveness as a thin veneer….fav!
thank you … 🙂
Somehow, after my own struggles with the form, it was quite a pleasure to just take a Nordic ride on the Beowulf carousel with you. I do love alliteration in a line or stanza, but somehow trying to figure out the stresses and the break befuddled me; like your effort immensely.
Thank you.. I actually did it before a few time 😉 so a little Beowulf helps
Wow, Björn; that’s exactly what I was hoping for. This is fabulous. I just hope that everyone who tries this comes to read your work, because this is how it should be done … smiles
Thank you.. it’s actually quite hard.. I had to sit and read it aloud by myself to get the stresses decently right.
I bow in admiration, both in your ability with the complicated form, and in the fabulous content of the poem.
Thank you 😉 I love the form.
Splendid… you make it seem so easy, Bjorn.
Just like iambs I have exercised.. 🙂 on twitter you can fit 2 lines.
Love this piece. This was a tough prompt for me because it requires a very different approach to writing. You have really shown the way
Thank you.. I have read it as part of my upbringing … so it was a little easier for me.
Once again your brilliance shines. The “gruesome granite heart, like growling moonshine beasts” is awesome. I can’t do the form but I’ll do an alliterative haiku. I know it doesn’t meet the prompt but it’ll be my wee contribution to effort.
I have tried it before… a few times… and it is a little tricky.
Nice example Bjorn ~ I specially like the opening and closing verses, words rolled off nicely when I read them ~ Happy weekend to you ~
Happy weekend back.. 🙂
This is beautiful! So much emotion written very well!
Thank you 🙂
she’s volatile in soothing volumes,
with volcanoes deep inside
Brilliant shot Bjorn! Love your word craft above. I’m still trying to come to terms of the requirements as explained by Tony!
Hank
It’s a little bit like laying a puzzle 🙂
Just lovely, very lyrical the way it flows so beautifully. Every stanza is just brilliant.
Thank you 🙂
Whiffle works well for you. Great alliteration, (didn’t have to look that one up). Thanks for the read.
Alliteration to drive the verse is quite different from rhymes.. and accent is different than meter..
Gotcha. I’ll agree with what you just said
“it hides her gruesome granite heart,
like growling moonshine beasts”
oh this is fantastic. you make it seem so easy – and i know it’s not. great work…
Thank you 🙂
Superb, Bjorn.
Thank you 🙂
wonderful B 🙂
Thank you.. alliterative verse is so fun to write 🙂
To me, this felt very tongue in cheek and the humorous aspects really made me smile. k.
There certainly are elements of humor in this 😉 happy to bring a smile
Oh, wow! Love reading this aloud–so many great pairings!
Thank you.. 🙂
you made the form look easy, bjorn. nice write.
Thank you heidi 🙂
Magnificent, what a treasure:)
Man thanks
I tried to use Google translate to help me understand, but sorry! Volatile, whiffle, whimsiness and suaveness are not recognized. So I have no idea what you are writing about.
volatile – flighty
whiffle – soft gust of wind
whimsiness – to be whimsy
suaveness – softness (from Spanish suave)
— some of the words are quite rare and you have to go to a dictionary to find them.. or just google them
Beautiful and poignant. Great use of a very difficult form,too. 🙂
So successful, Bjorn–great use of form and emotional narrative, as well.