Picture from Wikimedia commons
the language of stilettos as she walks
tic-tac-tic-tac-tic-tac
speak confidence and dominance
tic-tac-tic-tac
approaching — people hide and disappear
not to be in line of her
Kalachnikov —- her voice
do-now-now-do-do-now
DO!!
a threat against unarmed
(or lazy)
they gather round the copier
– hiding – shhhhh! —
(a savannah campfire were hunters hide
from roaring lions – fear -shhh)
This time she slams her door
– BANG –
a silent sigh – relief
and keyboards starts to
click-click-click
updating their facebook — status
dragon’s gone
like
Inside her mask is gone
and the stilettos too — barefoot
with memories of plimsolls
in the grass of festivals
& youthful innocence
—
it’s gone – forlorn
today – she’s lost
a pink slip on the table
telling her of
sacrifice
in vain
alone
Picture from Wikimedia Commons
at dVerse, it’s about atmosphere and mood today. Anna has us to use the poetic tools we have to create an this in their poem.
I wanted to create a menacing office atmosphere were management by fear rules. The warning shoes, weapon as machine gun, and then contrasting with the private sphere that’s gone, and the fear of the employees. All is fiction, but there are certain elements of my own experience (especially that of a company going down-hill).
I’m thankful for all comments on how effective my creation is, especially since free-verse is a little bit outside my comfort zone.
—
Björn Rudbergs writings 
I love this poem, but I ~REALLY~ love those plimsolls!
More comfort than the stilettos 🙂
I could feel the menacing tone, Bjorn. The click, click of stilletos in an office environment could inspire fear. An old boss of mine comes to mind……
.. Hope you never had to hide in the copying room 🙂
well penned, Bjorn. Been there… ~ M
Thank you — in stilettos or as target.
ha! the highest shoes I were have cleats on the soles.
oy…a couple edges of this…the menacing boss…yes the authoritarian clack of the shoes (think you need an s at the end of walk(s)) nice sounds….her duality, the fragileness under the armor of who she feels she needs to be…and then the stripping away of that with a pink slip…that is never fun…been on both sides of that….used to have an ‘its all about me boss’ when i worked in the corporate world…oh joy…smiles…
Thank you… A tough world… and the armor can’t be fun, and the stressful world of being the target… and my s– yes that’s Swedish… 🙂
oh heck…no fun to work with a boss like that in a company that’s going down the drain…ugh…you did well and used the tools effectively björn
Thank you Claudia .. 🙂
I liked the transition you created, like changing personalities. Well done. Thank you.>KB
Thank you.. I think there are always two sides of things… and yes I wanted to create a split vision.
The sounds really worked for me Bjorn ~ I think I have seen some of those men & women and sadly they became victims themselves ~ Good experimental work ~
Thank you.. The sound I hear often in the office (we never have carpeted floors in Sweden)
I love poetry that brings sounds into the mix. It makes a piece that much more interesting when you can play on other senses. And I must say I’ve worked in this type of office environment. No bueno. But even a dragon has a vulnerable spot, and it’s brilliant that you showed that side. Nice piece!
Thank you .. it’s very experimental for being me, but I loved trying it out.
Such a lovely metamorphosis you presented, Bjorn, nice!
Thank you Marya
The onomatopoeia heightens the tension very well. Your metaphors and value-laden language also contribute to the atmosphere of stress and oppression. You do a wonderful about face and introduce compassion and a reason for the controlling attitude. The spacing, line breaks, and parenthetical asides are all very effective. Great work getting out of your comfort zone and using your poetic tools to create mood.
Thank you .. this was a fun exercise.. dVerse is such a great school.
felt the frustration… nice analogy
Thank you 🙂
This is stunning – so much going on. Really can relate to her, and to them. Well done!
Thank you.. I think it’s very human actions.
Solid image, bjorn. Nailed it with shoe and sound. And then the pivot, so unexpected. From dragon to human- alone.
Thank you. 🙂 somehow your comment ended up in spam.. I don’t think it will happen again
You did very well. I could relate very well to the scenario here in my capacity as an Associate (so I can say that I was both an employee and a manager, in a sense) in a Law Firm many many years ago before the coming of FB. 🙂 I admire the way you used sound to evoke the atmosphere here.
To me this sound of high heels really has become a signal of authority..
I read an article a few weeks ago that suggests if a woman wants to be taken seriously as a leader then she shouldn’t smile too much, which seems like a shame to me, and your creation reminded me with her thoughts of plimsolls.
I think you are right and that was partly why I choose the boss to be a woman.. usually they sacrifice more. A man in this story would have just accepted the slip marched out to his next position and with a supportive wife on his side…
You set a n excellent tone here Bjorn I could feel the tension.
Thank you 🙂
great part about the copier and the campfire
and a mood of catchy + aggressive/intimidation/relentless.
Thank you, it’s my favorite part as well. Employees hiding by the copier… (usually safe from the boss)
Liked it a lot Bjorn. I could really hear those heels:)
Thank you 🙂
Oh dear – I thought the Kalachnikov was the most effective comparison really – such a great word, first of all, it sounds like what it means, and especially effective here with the heels. k.
Actually the Kalachnikov was taken from the real world.. a name given to a project leader I once knew….
Wow! Well done, Bjorn! You captured the atmosphere well!
Thank you 🙂
But being elevated is a good thing to be, nowadays. There is so much crap.
Be alone,
on your own,
rather than
serving man.
But you must start writing form again! 🙂 Form is fun.
Form and free are both fun.. for atmosphere and mood free works better for me. But I write form every day also…
Interesting and insightful poem about the work place ….Shudder!
Could be scary… I never seen it quite as scary