I’m very early today. This idea struck me as a bolt of lightning. I will use dialogue which is rare to me, but variation of form is important to me. At least the first version is 100 words.
Friday Fictioneers is a growing group of bloggers who write a story on around (or exactly) 100 word on the same picture, under the leadership of Rochelle Wisoff-Fields. Go to her page and find out more. If you only want to read more stories click on the blue guy on the bottom. Picture is by Dave Stewart
Copyright David Stewart
The two men on the square were almost jumping with joy.
“It worked, it worked”, Jeremiah said exultantly.
The chrome machine buzzed and spluttered.
“Indeed, there is a promotion overdue” Sarge exalted, and patted him lightly on the back.
“Well, I wonder if the reversion works too … “
Black smoke billowed from the machine.
“ … … darn, it’s stuck. “ Jeremiah sighed.
The machine answered by a large poof and sent out a feeble bolt of light.
“Sigh… back to the drawing board.”
“Can we just leave him like that?”
“Just another statue, besides it may actually scare off the next pocket-thief.”
—
February 13, 2013
Björn Rudbergs writings 
I want one of those machines! Great work.
Of course, they are available on eBay
That’s a great take on the picture. I love when they try to reverse it. “Oh well, better luck next time.” I think it would be a great thief deterrent.
Thank you, and thanks for a great picture.
Hahaha! How sad for the thief.
I think the word you want is ‘exulted.’
good eyes!
Thank you 🙂 I will update.
I wonder what this machine really was!
Thief Freezer 🙂
Imaginative story, Björn! I want one of those for my front yard.
I think you might get by if you claiim you are a collector of garden gnomes. 🙂
LOL those machines are dangerous! now, where can i get em? ^^ love the imagination, Björn ^^
Thank you.. It was the first thing that popped into my head… I’m weird I know. As for the machines they are soon on eBay.
sold by you no doubt. lol^^
Hehe.. Now that would be quite a machine to own! Great dialogue and a pretty creative story..:-)
Thank you. 🙂 Nice change…
This brought a smile to my face.
Just for the record, you either want “said exultantly” or “Sarge exulted.” 🙂
janet
😉 always those details
I only wish I could speak another language (and write in it) as well as you do. I comment to further sharpen an already sharp skill.
I know, and I appreciate it 🙂
haha ! this was fun 🙂
My initial reaction to the picture was almost same !
🙂 I have not checked any other yet. But I got that impression almost directly.
Fabulous use of dialog in a hundred word fiction. I bow at your learned feet. 😉
Thank you, after reading all the other great entries here this week a few thing sticks.
Blue collar art.
Indeed 🙂
Hilarious! I think you are so right by the way -vary the form of writing as much as possible – especially with dialogue. The dialogue here was credible and alive!
Thank you. Yes it’s only my second dialogue attempt.
Oh, I wasn’t sure whether to shudder or laugh! Good job!
It’s ok to laugh. But I hope you will look at statues with a fresh eyes hereafter. 🙂
loved your last two lines.
Thank you 🙂
I think you are a scary man!
Scott
Mine: http://kindredspirit23.wordpress.com/2013/02/13/3734/
High praise, thank you 🙂
Very original, nicely done.
Thank you Sandra 🙂
Very funny, I can almost see your two guys slug a beer to celebrate their success. I can see how you got there because I got somewhere different yet the same 🙂
Thank you, I look forward to read you story. Friday evening activity in front of the fireplace with a glass of wine.
a nice take on the prompt:) I am sure it scares some thieves..it did in my story this week..lol
Thank you 🙂 I will get back to reading the stories later.
Ah the machines we depend on to make life easier. When they do not work we must use our feeble brains instead. Your immediate idea was very strong Bjorn!
Thank you Joe 🙂
Great imagination Bjorn…When they go up for sale on eBay let me know please.
Tom
I can see your front-yard for my inner eye..
Very nice. Mine will be out tomorrow
Thank you. Tonight I will sit and read at the fireplace.
Love the “Thief freezer” in your comment to Parul, and I compliment you on your dialogue–most successful.
Maybe freeze-framer is even better?
Well, one more thief gone. Nice story, different. I like different. 🙂
Thank you… 🙂
😆 It does look like a long arm thief reaching.
It does indeed, but it might be a banker instead.
Oooooh, that is a very interesting machine!!!
With a few adjustments it’s ready for shipment. We don’t want all those statues littering the squares.
🙂
Well done. A look into the future? Technology gone wrong? I will be sure not to take anything that doesn’t belong to me.
The police will soon be there, but I think there is very low risk for you.
Imaginative story, Bjorn! I’ll be sure to keep my hands to myself. 😀
🙂
So that’s where sculpture comes from! I thought people called artists actually made it; go figure …
Overpaid artists… and BTW many of our politicians are just animated statues.
Difficult to write comedy. Difficult to write dialogue. You did both extremely and entertainingly well. I’m off to Ebay to bid for that machine. You might like to look at your punctuation. There are a few missing full stops.
Many thanks, and thank you for the points. I have scattered a few more on the story 🙂
Yes, those points are difficult to pin down. No sooner you’ve done it than they’re up and off!
Very imaginative take on the prompt. Your dialogue is excellent and brought the story to life. I really enjoyed this 🙂
Thank you. 😉
A unique take on the image presented… it looks like that’s your style. 🙂
One of my many styles.
Now, there’s a fantasy tourist spot I wouldn’t want to visit! I’d hate to end up “chromed”. Creepy, especially because Jeremiah and Sarge are so matter of fact about their project.
Exactly.. A little creepy .. 😉
Fantastic story. I’m wondering if the pocket-thief knows what’s happened to him.
Maybe he’s still trapped inside that statue.
Hahah – it does look like someone froze him in his tracks. I wonder how many other people they’ll turn into statues while testing out that machine.
I think they will go back to rats a little while.
Clever, Bjorn. A time machine had not occurred to me at all. Is this how all statues are born?! I enjoyed this. Nice one.
Thank you 🙂
Human testing, you gotta love it. That was highly entertaining. Thank you.
Thank you, but it will be rats for a while.
well done.
this line here: ““Sigh… back to the drawing board.”
i think you can come up with a better line than ‘back to the drawing board.” it’s a phrase that is way overused. i realize that it’s not really “you” but the character talking, but it might still be better to make another phrase.
How about, “Darn… adjustment for weight is wrong”
know what. i apologize and take my comment back. after re-reading it i realize that phrase is really such a part of language now in it’s meaning that it makes perfect sense to use exactly that. my bad. sorry.
your dialogue flowed well, Bjorn and it complimented the creative piece these fellows were attempting to put together. ♥
Thank you. Next time I will try another form.
you’re welcome! writing is fun! smiles to you…peace. ❤
Great take on the prompt, veyr enjoyable story and loved the idea of such a machine…. still smiling 🙂
Dee
Thank you 😉 Happy to bring smiles.
Those scientists are cold even if the man was a thief. Great story as usual!
Thank you Paul. Yes those scientist did not mind particulary
Oh, I love it; I love it!
Thank you Sandra 🙂
Fantastic idea from the prompt. Well done.
Thank you, glad you like it.
too bad he couldn’t scare off the politician in my story. but unfortunately, I think it would take more than a machine to keep their hands out of our pockets. Good one, Bjorn.
Politicians can only be scared by flamethrowers and polls I think.