From sunset to sunrise – Friday Fictioneers

In this week Friday Fictioneers Rochelle shares one of Rich Voza’s picture with us. Somehow I thought it was time to write a sonnet with you this week. No twist just poetry. But I’ve managed to tweak my iambs to exactly 100 words. I also decided to write it in second person, which is an interestin exercize in term of writing. I hope it speaks to you.

Friday Fictioneers are a growing community of bloggers who write a story around the same picture every week. If you want to join you just go to Rochelle Wysoff-Fields’ page. There is also a little blue guy at the bottom of this page that takes you directly to the other entries.

Copyright Rich Voza

Copyright Rich Voza

In setting sun you saw the airplane leave
You sat and thought the separation through
At first relieved, you started slowly grieve
The loss, was solitude you’d never knew

The setting sun was painting your melancholy
Within your memory replayed intense affair
From passionate to prestigious folly
And stupid, your engagement with au pair

In setting sun you slowly leave the gate
With heavy steps towards the exit walk
and then you realize yourself, you hate
so suddenly you’re racing with the clock

Now in the rising sun you’re following behind
in hope of being yet again with her combined





February 6, 2007

63 responses to “From sunset to sunrise – Friday Fictioneers

  1. What an ambitious undertaking, Björn, and I’m amazed that you could get it to 100 words exactly! My mind flashed to Tiger Woods for some reason. :-). I hope for a happy ending.

    janet

  2. Bjorn,
    WOW…exactly 100 words, a hard task my friend. Lovely sonnet. Really enjoyed this. Hard to believe that English is your second language…Excellent!

    Tom

  3. Wow.. What an amazing sonnet and in 100 words ,, it’s quite an accomplishment.. 🙂 I loved that it’s written in “second person”, makes it a tad more interesting to read and the sudden shift in the last line from setting to rising sun is pretty remarkable too. Changes the flow altogether and makes it happy. Great take on the prompt.

    • Not that difficult actually.
      – start with an idea of a story
      – some key words (sunrise and sunset)
      – write the first draft (I was lucky and came at 107 words)
      .- Then look for possibilities to use longer words and massage them into the iambs. (i never had to change the rhymes though).
      – I think I rewrote it 3-4 times…. but I might change it a little bit more. The second stanza is a little bit hard to read out properly.

  4. lots of human emotion in there, a good range. well done. and if it was easy – just pretend it took a lot of work! enjoy the credit they’re giving!

  5. So beautiful, Bjorn. I can feel the sadness in how he feels. So exciting is the beginning of a forbidden relationship. Then it sours. Thanks for the sad little tale.

  6. What a lovely work! To manage a complete change of character in 100 words is a big challenge, but then to do it in verse is even more so. And you make it clear that he pays a price for his previous decision, but then you give us the strong hope of redemption at the end. Well done!

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