In this week Friday Fictioneers Rochelle shares one of Rich Voza’s picture with us. Somehow I thought it was time to write a sonnet with you this week. No twist just poetry. But I’ve managed to tweak my iambs to exactly 100 words. I also decided to write it in second person, which is an interestin exercize in term of writing. I hope it speaks to you.
Friday Fictioneers are a growing community of bloggers who write a story around the same picture every week. If you want to join you just go to Rochelle Wysoff-Fields’ page. There is also a little blue guy at the bottom of this page that takes you directly to the other entries.
Copyright Rich Voza
In setting sun you saw the airplane leave
You sat and thought the separation through
At first relieved, you started slowly grieve
The loss, was solitude you’d never knew
The setting sun was painting your melancholy
Within your memory replayed intense affair
From passionate to prestigious folly
And stupid, your engagement with au pair
In setting sun you slowly leave the gate
With heavy steps towards the exit walk
and then you realize yourself, you hate
so suddenly you’re racing with the clock
Now in the rising sun you’re following behind
in hope of being yet again with her combined
—
—
February 6, 2007
Björn Rudbergs writings 
What an ambitious undertaking, Björn, and I’m amazed that you could get it to 100 words exactly! My mind flashed to Tiger Woods for some reason. :-). I hope for a happy ending.
janet
I think for once I’ve written a happy ending.
And that’s OK. 🙂
🙂 I’ll be back in dark writing soon
And I was dark this week.
This is lovely. I adore “exactly 100 word” writing. Good job.
Thank you 🙂 it’s a little bit like laying a puzzle actually.
This is beautiful!
Thank you 🙂
Bjorn,
WOW…exactly 100 words, a hard task my friend. Lovely sonnet. Really enjoyed this. Hard to believe that English is your second language…Excellent!
Tom
Thank you, metered poetry usually come easy to me.
I like the way you turned it around in the end…was almost sure that was over for…forever.
A twist can work both ways.
so ambitious and so lovely.
Thank you 🙂
What a lovely and hopeful ending. Fantastic poem.
Thank you.
Loved it Bjorn 🙂
Thank you 🙂
of course if there’s anyone who could pull that off, it’s you ^^ amazing
*blushes* my biggest feat yet is to write a sestina in pentameter… That is challenging (took me several days).
Wow.. What an amazing sonnet and in 100 words ,, it’s quite an accomplishment.. 🙂 I loved that it’s written in “second person”, makes it a tad more interesting to read and the sudden shift in the last line from setting to rising sun is pretty remarkable too. Changes the flow altogether and makes it happy. Great take on the prompt.
Thank you. I think also in poetry there is a need for twists.
Beautiful. A love story in 100 words. Sometimes we must make do with what we have. You have done just that, and it’s perfect!
Blessings,
Shenine
Thank you 🙂
really nice..and this was a different take on the prompt
I like variations 🙂 but I had decided for a happy end this time.
Beautiful and apt take, Bjorn
Thank you Celestine 🙂
Cleverly done, and I don’t believe this can have been easy.
Not that difficult actually.
– start with an idea of a story
– some key words (sunrise and sunset)
– write the first draft (I was lucky and came at 107 words)
.- Then look for possibilities to use longer words and massage them into the iambs. (i never had to change the rhymes though).
– I think I rewrote it 3-4 times…. but I might change it a little bit more. The second stanza is a little bit hard to read out properly.
lots of human emotion in there, a good range. well done. and if it was easy – just pretend it took a lot of work! enjoy the credit they’re giving!
Its easier if you write 3-4 sonnets a week. My first took me several days 🙂 Including those it is a big effort.
BTW, thanks for a great picture.
i just happened to be in the right place at the right time, catching an early flight and stopped at the window. i’m still kicking myself for not adjusting to get my reflection out of the window.
I know the feeling. Always those reflections
A beautiful work Bjorn. What skill to cap it on the nose.
Thank you 🙂
Beautiful sonnet, Bjorn. I love happy endings. Even my clown nose smiled.
I have had too many bad endings so today I thought I’d twist the other way. I’m glad you liked it.
Dear Björn,
I admire anyone who can make sense in rhyme. Lovely sonnet.
shalom,
Rochelle
Thank you, rhyme with sense is something fairly recent for me… But I’m glad you like it.
So beautiful, Bjorn. I can feel the sadness in how he feels. So exciting is the beginning of a forbidden relationship. Then it sours. Thanks for the sad little tale.
Thank you.. I hope he manage to repair the damages.
I hope so too. Thing is, when a heart heals it scars over. Those scars tend to make us stronger. Able to love better.
Love, Renee
Very sad, but then he probably deserved it. MEN!!
I hope he deserves a second chance.
Dear Bjorn,
You are a pathfinder for the rest of us. Thanks for showing the way.
Aloha,
Doug
Very nice of you to say so.
Very nice.
Thank you 🙂
Great job–it’s hard enough to rhyme each sentence but to keep the word count at 100 is admirable.
I found that getting the iambs right is the hardest
What a lovely work! To manage a complete change of character in 100 words is a big challenge, but then to do it in verse is even more so. And you make it clear that he pays a price for his previous decision, but then you give us the strong hope of redemption at the end. Well done!
Thank you, it’s fun to challenge yourself 🙂
Interesting approach, Bjorn, good angle.
Thank you 🙂
Beautiful, Bjorn. Happy isn’t so bad, is it?
No it worked well for a change.
Very well done! Lovely poem.
Thank you 😉
Okay! Loved the jump in time at the end. Thanks for liking my story.
Thank you. Often I don’t do poetry, but every once in a while I do.