The visitor

My second entry in 100 word challenge for grownups. The prompt is … It can’t be that time…. Given we are getting close to Halloween, I have decided to use a horror theme, and this time in the form of a sonnet. Unfortunately breaking the 100 word with a small amount. Picture I took at a wonderful dance performance of “One flew over the Cuckoo’s nest”.

She wakes in darkness, hears approaching claws
And thinks “It can not be that time again”
She does not see, but knows his perfect jaws
And moans, preparing for tomorrow’s pains

She feels the nausea in his furry chest
The hands that soon will close upon her throat
And dirty teeth of his, that bite her breast
Oh, why this nightly visits from the goat?

The horny beast will always come at night
But in her thought, she carries him inside
His loathsome corpus leaves at morning light
But with the beast she always must confide

She’s gone and lost inside his tight embrace
“Oh please, I can not suffer this debase”
October 15, a dark and rainy night.
The image I had inside my head was that of a mental patient, where she, and maybe others believe the illness is an obsession with the devil. Still it might also be true, that she is obsessed. It’s up to you dear reader.

20 responses to “The visitor

  1. nice, you might consider carries instead of carry and abides instead of abide. This poem makes me think that it may be more tolerable to imagine the beast at night instead of the one who betrays trust.

  2. I found Midlife Singlemum’s comment to be very interesting. It brought your poem into a different focus for me, whether you meant it that way or not. It was scary to me before, but strange. Now I see other scary meanings. Very scary.

  3. Scary. I agree, it works on many levels.

    There are some verb forms you may want to change. A rule is third person Singular in the present tense always ends in S: she wakes, hears (except for modal verbs that don’t change she can, may, must), third person plural doesn’t: teeth bite.

  4. As a theologian, I tuned in to the metaphor immediately. There is also many a tale of the devil sitting on the chest of the sleeping and the victim being awake but paralysed (with fear?). This phenomenon has been occuring for hundreds of years and still does today. That’s what I wondered was happening to her?

    Great writing, especially as a second language.

    • Thanks for the feedback and your kind words. When I started to write I did not have the metaphor in mind, but just a horror story. But when I made my choice of picture…. I made the choice of a few key words accordingly (goat and horned). Then it’s clear that this is not just any beast,

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