A retirement

inspired by #liblit writing prompt of June 23 2012

John opened the door to the classroom without anticipation. He had gradually started to see his pupils more like hungry predators. Worst of all were “the scabrous four” as he called them. On the outside they were like any teenagers, a little noisy, but always smiling. But he could see the monsters inside, especially in the remarkable green eyes of Judy, the leader of the “pack”. She reminded him of her mother, who was his student all those years ago.

He sighed at the thought of Alice, Judy’s mother. She was his favorite student from his years at the school. Blonde hair, athletic body very intelligent, and a smile that could melt gold. As a matter of fact, Judy looked almost exactly like Alice, except Alice’s eye-color was a stunning cobalt blue. How Alice could end up married to stupid Jack, and live in a trailer park was beyond John’s imagination.

The lesson was uneventful, but he felt uneasy about Judy and her friends. They were unusually quiet, but their eyes followed him around, like he was prey and they a pack of wolfs. He was glad this lesson would be his last, and looked forward to spend his retirement fishing at the cabin.

He left school without drawing any attention to him. There was a mutual dislike between him and his colleagues, and he had declined the headmaster’s feeble attempts for a retirement ceremony. He crossed the parking lot, and headed towards his rusty truck. Just as he touched the door handle everything turned black.

When he woke up, he knew he was travelling in a vehicle, he could feel the bumps from the road right into his now bruised body. But everything was dark, and he was tightly bound and gagged. But he recognized the sound from the transmission, he was an unwilling passenger in his own truck.

Suddenly the truck came to an abrupt stop, and he immediately recognized the smell. They were at his own cabin, and he was manhandled up the path, and pushed roughly into the rocking chair were he intended to spend his retirement.

All of the sudden he was looking into the bright light reflected into a pair of green eyes. He felt a sharp blade against his neck, and stupidly remembered that he had forget to shave. Judy hissed: “John, we have brought you here to give you the retirement you deserve”

…. she paused and said in a clear voice “Father”. John closed his green eyes, and sighed. He was home and looked forward to the retirement.

6 responses to “A retirement”

Great story, Bjorn. Exciting action and an unusual conclusion!

brudberg June 23, 2012 at 15:08 · · Reply →

Thank you, Your entries are inspiring, and I like to have a surprising conclusion. This one became obvious as I wrote the story.

the climax was super surprise. thoroughly enjoyable story.

brudberg June 25, 2012 at 15:07 · · Reply →

Thanks, It was a joy to write… When I started, I did not know where it would end.

Isn’t that an interesting ending, sir!? My guess was very wrong!
My guess number one was that he died just as he reached his truck.
My guess number two was that he hadn’t died but had had some sort of medical collapse–a stroke maybe or perhaps just a brief v-fib that caused him to lose consciousness and that he was strapped in an ambulance.

Once the protagonist, knew he had arrived at his cabin, I knew that the kids were involved somehow, but I didn’t predict the dark side of the plot at all.

But then, That’s the fault of my positive and Romantic outlook. I always expect the best. and am very surprised when something other than the best is what actually occurs..

brudberg October 19, 2012 at 22:42 · · Reply →

It’s interesting to write short stories, and to be able to do a twist at the end is what makes them fun to write. In this case I recall, that I had not decided until the very end how it would finish, and then I went back and threw in a couple of leads.

Jan Brown June 23, 2012 at 15:03 · · Reply →

Great story, Bjorn. Exciting action and an unusual conclusion!
- brudberg June 23, 2012 at 15:08 · · Reply →
  
  Thank you, Your entries are inspiring, and I like to have a surprising conclusion. This one became obvious as I wrote the story.
Sharmishtha Basu June 25, 2012 at 14:56 · · Reply →

the climax was super surprise. thoroughly enjoyable story.
- brudberg June 25, 2012 at 15:07 · · Reply →
  
  Thanks, It was a joy to write… When I started, I did not know where it would end.
David Emeron October 19, 2012 at 22:38 · · Reply →

Isn’t that an interesting ending, sir!? My guess was very wrong!
My guess number one was that he died just as he reached his truck.
My guess number two was that he hadn’t died but had had some sort of medical collapse–a stroke maybe or perhaps just a brief v-fib that caused him to lose consciousness and that he was strapped in an ambulance.

Once the protagonist, knew he had arrived at his cabin, I knew that the kids were involved somehow, but I didn’t predict the dark side of the plot at all.

But then, That’s the fault of my positive and Romantic outlook. I always expect the best. and am very surprised when something other than the best is what actually occurs..
- brudberg October 19, 2012 at 22:42 · · Reply →
  
  It’s interesting to write short stories, and to be able to do a twist at the end is what makes them fun to write. In this case I recall, that I had not decided until the very end how it would finish, and then I went back and threw in a couple of leads.