Twanka

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I like to write poem in 57577 style, i tweet mine using #twanka hashtag.
This is to indicate that it is close to but not really a tanka. I have not
grasped the concept of what a true tanka would be.
Here are a few examples:

Diaphanous dress
Expose an aging body
Like the flow of sand
In her grandfathers hourglass
The senescence never stops

Mirific night
At midsummer evening
Pick seven flowers
Put them under your pillow
And dream of who you’ll marry

Enjoying sunshine
Is a delicate balance
Between too hot and cold
Now finally perfection
Then sun leaves my balcony

3 responses to “Twanka

  1. This is an interesting form. I was told by someone who loved and wrote quite a lot of these, that one trick, though not necessarily “the” trick, is to take the third line and make of it a “pivot” in such a way that it is the end of the sentence beginning with the first two lines, and the beginning of the sentence ending with the last two. The idea being that the center line should also have two very different meanings when combined with the lines above it as opposed to the lines below.

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