weightless dreams of winter’s past

· by · in choka, dVerse, poetry. ·

any journey starts
not with the initial step
but through fantasy
in finding inner blessings
purpose of a life
in a travel companion
living with planning
tracing paths with fingertips
topographic maps
in two pair of sturdy boots
tent and sleeping bags
packing food for many days
gas stove in backpacks
we carry a weight of dreams
prepared for blisters
on sunbeams or wrapped in clouds
the mountain’s calling
when dusk and dawn is merging

finally we leave
following from cairn to cairn
paths we know by heart
by repeating what’s rehearsed
weightless dreams of winters past

snapseed

© Björn Rudberg

Gayle introduces us to the Chōka at dVerse. I used the form with 575757… until the final 5 lines that also summarize the poem. The pub is open, join us.

2017-01-05

22 responses to “weightless dreams of winter’s past”

  2. I love your chilly Choka journey, Björn, especially:
    ‘tracing paths with fingertips
    topographic maps
    in two pair of sturdy boots
    tent and sleeping bags’.

  3. Oh my gosh, this is beautiful, as I knew it would be. I like the idea of a travel companion to help make plans for a shared life. Love this!

  5. I don’t see anything wrong with this, Bjorn….it’s choka enough for me. It also has the scent of a haibun….a travel documentary I guess, and that’s good, too. I think the difference is just in the particulars of the form….5-7, 5-7, forever until you end with two 7 onji lines. *although we say syllables, it’s actually sounds in Japanese. It’s a lovely and fine choka. You didn’t choke up!

  6. Nice prose Choka that made me remember hikes & mountains of the past; new form for most of us. I like your lines /the mountain’s calling/when dusk & dawn is merging/.

  7. When the mountains are calling, you go, smiles ~ Good to have the companion and following the paths so familiar to both of you ~ Good one Bjorn ~

  11. Hiking is something I did a long time ago and need to start doing again…plenty of places here…but you make it sound so romantic and personal…lovely to walk in your shoes for a moment in time.

  14. I love how this camping and living tough, represents their relationship and its sturdiness. My first thought was, oh she puts up with a lot, I hate camping except in a trailer. Yes I’m spoiled lol. Wonderful write!

  16. I like how your journey begins with intent and ends with that impressive couplet:
    “by repeating what’s rehearsed
    weightless dreams of winters past”

  18. Travel, taken literally and figuratively (which your writing both suggest), is indeed more exciting with a trusted companion. 🙂

I try to reciprocate all comments. If you want me to visit a particular post, please direct me directly to that post.

This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.