Once he avalanched proposals
thunderstormed decisions,
rained om bottomless
agreements, demanding
black keyed signatures,
while fucking interns
past office hours
in the copy room.
From faux performance indicators,
bonuses for prenups
and his former wife’s
Martinis, he’s left alone
to sip a brown-bag Bud,
carefully avoiding anything
to stain his paisley tie.
It’s two AM, a noose
prepared. He mostly failed
but not to kill himself.
Mama Zen wants us to use 77 words to shock her at toads … don’t know if I succeeded in anything but to make myself a little sadder…
—
February 19, 2016

A tragic tug at my heart!
Um, step away from the “rope.” Something tells me you should not be making decisions at 2:00 a.m. Probably none of us should. 🙂
This is awesome: “Once he avalanched proposals”
I love this as well, with that “om” in there, typo or not: “rained om bottomless agreements”
I always find it ballsy (in a good way) to stick “fucking” in a poem, so kudos.
That closing stanza is killer (hee hee), but this is still my favorite part: “carefully avoiding anything / to stain his paisley tie”
NEVER ruin a good-looking tie. But sometimes “carefully avoiding anything” is exactly what ruins everything. This actually makes me think of how people approach art: yeah, a controlled hand produces precise, accurate work, but I can’t help but gravitate toward the mad dashes and splotches of something more abstract. And really, that’s what life is: art. I just happen to think it should be messy.
I love the way you used the line breaks to point out that the tie IS the noose.
Also, the line that juts out with “indicators” beyond all the other words … it makes me see Indie caters. Is your ex-wife all Indie and shit? Maybe you should cater more to her whims so you can get back together. Or at least have ex-sex. 😛 It’s probably worth living for.
Oh yes.. A spelling error… 😉 I think it will be gone soon
Nooooo! Keep it!!! Kelli will love it. 🙂
This time I (mis)read it as “palsy tie.” Isn’t that an interesting twist for the inventive? Ha. Twist.
Ha.. Somehow I have always hated paisley so that works for me,
Maybe you just wear the wrong colors.
I’m shocking impressed!
Pow! I think it’s a damn cool write, Bjorn.
Wow! This is such a metaphor for life in the 21st century! Guttural, hard-hitting and cynical… what’s not to like?
I don’t know what you do for a living, but this sounds like you know exactly how it feels.
Holy cow. That last stanza. GUT-punch.
Very strong use of verbs. Those first three lines are magnificent: “Once he avalanched proposals
thunderstormed decisions,
rained om bottomless….”
Oh, yikes. Sad decision indeed. I love the way you used such creative verbs to add to the shocking value of this.
I’m hard to shock but it surprised me 🙂
I like the first few lines, for instance thunderstormed decisions without that word would take many more words to get across. Your wordplay just gets better and better
Sad one but then with nice usage of words, its quite impressive!
P.S. I love how you doubled the meaning in the title. There are two “ams” in him. That will make anyone feel suicidal. But anyone who really loves you will figure out how to work with all the ams. Hopefully his ex-wife still has a key and will save him in time. She will probably have to confiscate his tie collection, though.
This is a fun read poem, Bjorn. It shocked me. Kerry?
Reminded me of physicians beginnings, from the barbers who believed in leaching the clients for cure. The used real leaches. It’s 2:33 AM here, I best shut things down. I’d like to sleep in in the morning.
Among the Mad Men there’s a Mad Max of immortal desire, hanging himself in his greed and need for noosing. Well done.
Quite a comedown– your choices of detail are super vivid, Bjorn and easy to relate to. And galloping cadence comes to such an abrupt end– ouch. K.
This is so well written (I almost said “executed” but I stopped myself, sort of). You show the drastic change in so few, well chosen words. Kudos.
Yes, sad. I like the touch of the paisley tie.
I love your use of language, your rapid fire beginning nicely sets off the shocking end. I don’t like your Bonfire of the Vanities Man of Bad Choices, though.
I think I wouldn’t like a man like that either… But maybe he came to his senses in the end…
Maybe we’ll all repent before the end. Or not.
Oh, sad that he succeeded at the last thing. I wish he had succeeded at other things in life so he had not found suicide necessary.
This is a dark comment on a reality so many live and often die from. Chilling
Very dark. He sounds like an extremely unhappy, depressed man who couldn’t even face himself anymore. Well done, Bjorn. — Suzanne