Mrs. Potter was born with problematic teeth, and she was a terrible patient, but on a small island one couldn’t be picky. Steven knew that she had paid for his and Laura’s home.
Today it was another filling that needed maintenance and he looked with disgust down at the stinking mouth of his overweight patient. Just as he carefully entered Mrs. Potter’s meat-cave with his sharp tool, he saw the swaying hips of Laura boarding the ferry.
Her suitcases told him that he was alone now, and Mrs. Potter’s screams meant that he also had lost most of his income.
Copyright Ted Strutz
Last week I was mostly travelling so I know that I had barely time to revisit those that left comments on mine. This week will b slightly better I hope. Today I left you with no poetry, but aimed for some humorist tragedy. Hope it worked out.
For more info on Friday Fictioneers go to Rochelle’s page. There are usually more than 100 entries every week, and it’s addictive to write to the same picture prompt. I try to meet the 100 word limit exactly, but a slight variations is not frowned upon.
June 11, 2014
Björn Rudbergs writings 
We like to assume our dentists and doctors are focused on their work… but more than likely they’re gazing out the window dreaming of lost love. Great story!
For swaying hips it only takes a glance
Yikes! MEN!
losing the swaying hips and paying meat-cave at one go! 🙂
a tough ordeal…
PS I loved the title this week… intriguing!
One little slip… and this is what happens. Or was it two little slips? 🙂 Good job!
Ah.. probably a number of slips with Laura, but a big one in the meat-cave…
Good grief! How horrifying! Stinking meat cave has something of a ring about it… 😦
Maybe it’s better for a dentist.
Bjorn, It sounds like Mrs. Potter was a relative. It looks like a triple loss: his wife, his home, and his patient. Poor man. Well written. 🙂 —Susan
On a small island everyone are related I think.
I WOULD feel sorry for him…but he’s a dentist.
Ha .. I think I feel a little sorry for Mrs Potter…
Sympathy for the vict–er—patient goes without saying in a dentist’s office!
omg….like distracted driving….yikes…dentists are scary enough man…you know mine growing up was named dr malice…seriously…oy….
I love that name… very funny… very funny indeed.
If he’d kept a bunch of ducks, and they walked in and distracted him while he was doing his dentistry, they could have indicted Dr. Malice on charges based on “Mallards Aforethought.”
(Sorry! Couldn’t resist!)
It took me back to being under Mr Cogger. His own mouth was full of rotten teeth, at least that’s how it seemed to the ten year old me.
A lovely story, passion, pain and slavery all in one.
Ha,, yes I guess the dentist would both love and hate a rotten mouth…
Yikes! Brilliant compression of images, narrative and humor, packed tightly into a little suitcase of a story! Loved it, Bjorn!
Thank you.. sometimes inspiration come instantly.
uh-oh. Two losses in a day. His clinic has bad feng shui then. 🙂 I will have a hard time getting rid of Mrs. Potter in my head.
I guess Mrs Potter’s teeth was a tiresome for Laura too.
Oh my, poor Mrs.Potter…And now I have that whole scene before my eyes, you painted a vivid picture.
poor poor mrs Potter..
Excellent story!
Thank You 🙂
Humorist tragedy certainly came across well – and a reminder that dentists have feelings too 😉
I think many dentists have been bitten too..
Ha..I like the scene you painted…swaying hips or texting while driving can both get one in trouble!
I would definitely not trust a texting dentist.
Yikes! Poor guy! As I said with my story, I used to work in a dental office and there were many Mrs. Potters – and a lot of swaying hips. Good job.
Ah. yes I can understand that.. the best income can be the worst patients-
Oh dear poor guy, what a terrible fate he’s been delt, but you narrated it beautifully!
Yes .. I think he sits on a bench by the harbor drinking cheap booze now…
Ah..poor guy.
I really liked that. It was so good. There goes his income.and his wife. Well done. Lucy
snap.. and in the next scene his finger as Mrs Potter closes her jaws..
Oh, no! That would be awful. Kick him when he’s down. Love your sense of humor. Lucy
Bjorn, I’m glad I get a chance to read your work after a few weeks of missing it. I like the way you contrasted the two women, although the wrong one left in the end.
yes — maybe he married Mrs Potter in the end…
I’m overdue for a dentist appointment… perhaps I’ll put it off a bit longer 🙂
Make sure he closes the shutters before going into action.
I laughed but it was an uncomfortable laugh, cause you kinda scared me.
Ha. I’m happy for the little scare.
Dear Bjorn, You do have a devious, wicked mind and the story is wonderful! Good job, but too bad his patient is not going to last out the day. Jeepers Bjorn – wickedly entertaining! Nan 🙂
ah.. I think it mostly some blood and pain… the legal damages were worse..
Nice to see a little prose here… And What Prose! Good story with such wonderful descriptions.
Thank you Ted, a fun picture to play with.. I will head over to your story here..
Meat-cave! I loved this, as the characters seemed so real. I think we all know a Mrs. Potter. Humor and tragedy all in one- you did an amazing job seamlessly combining the two, Bjorn!
Thank you Adele, I tried a slightly different approach this week
Sounds like a good day to go back to bed! I’ve often wondered what dentists might be thinking on the job…
Ellespeth
Ha! I got a laugh from the tragedy he faced. Loved your choice of words … ‘meat cave’ …. gave me a great, gruesome visual!
I think swaying hips would distract me too while I was trying to attack someone’s meat cave. Poor Steven to lose his meat cave and his wife at once. Cool story!
Nice post gave a good laugh…Will never go to a dentist who has a window nearby 🙂
so sweetly hysterical Bjorn! today was not Steven’s day. perhaps if he paid more attention to Laura, she wouldn’t be on that ferry…
You certainly delivered what you intended, Bjorn! Seems multi-tasking is not really his forte. 😉
Dear Bjorn,
Meat cave? You have outdone yourself with that description. Afine and fetid tale.
Aloha,
Doug
Dear Björn,
I may have written about maggots and mouldering flesh, but your description of Mrs. Potter’s meat cave is truly horrifying. One of your best.
Shalom,
Rochelle
Humorist tragedy. Yep, I think you nailed it.
And I though the shark in my story had a bite. Sounds like Mrs, Potter was a worse patient than Mack the Knife. Loved the meat cave 🙂
poor dentist, losing two things in one go.
Not the best time to lose one’s focus!
The disdain he feels for his patient really shows through.
That was perfect. The way you have framed the sentences, makes it read like a very lazy and slowly paced piece about the dentist’s monotonous life. So the sudden change in his fortune strikes really well. 🙂
PS: I feel bad for laughing at his misery 😦
Perfect, full use of the picture prompt. As for the guy, life’s gonna stink just as Mrs Potter’s mouth…
Greetings from Greece!
Maria (MM Jaye)
Oh, I feel the pain – everyones!
Lily
It’s all a matter of timing, I suppose. At least it doesn’t look like two-timing.
Amusing use of the prompt, Björn. I’ll now be tempted to ask my dentist to close the blinds… of course, that too could be distracting. 😉
A Bad Day in the Surgery! Shouldn’t have got out of bed!
Oh no! Poor Mrs. Potter. I guess he had enough and his house was paid off. Funny and tragic, Bjorn! It works.
Ha! I might put off that appointment now…
too bad the dentist didn’t have skills to do liposuction as well. 🙂 well told story and i’m thinking, best not to have a large window with a view while working. ha!
What a loss…the 2 most important women in his life. What will he do now? Loved your humorist tragedy…
Oh dear, two strikes and his was out. Maybe he will be boarding the next ferry now. Cleverly done.
Ouch! Mrs Potter might be overweight etc but she didn’t deserve that!
It most
Definitely did work out. Great story as usual.
Whoa! So his sharp tool slipped as he was manoeuvring it into his patient’s stinking meat cave and all because of a pair of swaying hips on a vamooshing backside. It seems the moral of the tale is that a man must use his tools wisely and carefully or risk losing all. 🙂
That meat-cave is most unsettling. I hope Laura’s not going to ask for half the house after abandoning the island. Maybe that way the loss of Mrs. Potter’s business won’t be so much of a blow.
It’s amazing how you can build a fictional life and tear it back down in 100 words. Well written!