you raising my desire – sugar
squeezed inside our pressure cooker
when you scream “I hate your guts”
I ponder if I’ll have you shot
but moxie vixens make me hot
to sass like yours I tip my hat
so dance and share my drowsy joint
and cease to care ’bout brownie points
I’ll make them leave – my Russian ladies
we’ll be alive – my luscious baby
we’ll share the shade lugubrious sweetheart
and paint graffiti tags as dubious treaty
let crimson anger mix with cyan danger
colorized like prison chambers
and burn to ash like salamanders
Today at dVerse Karin a.k.a Manicddaily makes us do slant rhyme. I have tried to push myself into writing some rap-like rhymes. Come join us at 3 PM EST.
—
May 22, 2014
Björn Rudbergs writings 
Slant Rhyme. Kinda got it when I read: Let’s burn like salamanders, but looked it up to be sure. I think I have been doing it, from time to time without realizing it (in fact, I know I have) . . . so I liked this post (and your poem) very much. Slant rhyme has an edgy realism to it (while still maintaining a great rhythmic cadence – hence, I suppose its use in rap) that is, often, difficult to maintain throughout a piece (particularly, when – like me – one heads, blithely, off in a direction one hasn’t quite got a handle on) – though, I gather, variations of this vowel or consonant stressed syllable rhyme/near rhyme can be found throughout the history of poetry. Another great post, Björn.
It was quite fun to write
A really clever use of words.
Ha, yes it was fun to write
You show us another very dark mind, Björn. I like how your slant rhymes connect images.
It was interesting to work with those slant rhymes.. I had to read aloud – wrote it in bed this morning
Bjorn, That was a very creative piece, full of imagination. Well done. 🙂 —Susan
Thank you, it was fun to play with
I do enjoy reading (and writing) slant rhyme – this was fantastical in its style, Bjorn – talk about high stakes! I love the fact that you wrote it in bed – I was scribbling away at a very dark short story last night in bed and am now struggling to read some of my hand-written words! Loved the use of colour in this too – a great piece!
I had my ipad in bed .. And wrote it this morning.. Ha..
ha. you did have a bit of fun in this on…rather campy…made me smile all the way through….
the painting of graffiti as a dubious retreat was one of my fav lines…fun piece.
I had so much fun being gangsta 😉
Ah yes – you have to live your fantasy
You really let rip here: love those rhymes, like the russian ladies and the sugar babies. If this is what slant rhyme is, then it isn’t so bad 🙂
At least it’s my version of slant rhymes
very neat rhythm to this…and until reading this, I had no idea of the mythology of salamanders and their connection with fire.
Oh yeah those salamanders burn
Oh, this is a hoot! I love lugubrious sweetheart. And those salamanders!
haha my goodness… what a verse… different side of you björn… maybe that’s because you’re traveling to the wrong san jose…smiles
Maybe.. Ar just my gangsta side
Our poetic minds melded, brother, for I went all gangsta too, and the slant rhymes piled up like bangers on bonfires. I agree with others that many of us, while using free verse, have the liberty to rhyme, or not rhyme, or near-rhyme as the words flow, unbridled with specificity of form. Like you line /let crimson anger mix with cyan danger/.
like a tongue twister I’d say… loved the movement in the lines
Love the lyrical sound to this. Nicely done!
Ha…your forte, I’d say…loved the musical rhythm you conjured up with your wit..
Yours was the first poem I read with slant rhyme….though i did not comment earlier. Such strong language. I especially like the last line….as I picture the burning of salamanders. Not sure about those Russian ladies today….
hahaha!!! I love your visuals on this poem of yours.
The language you created here is awesome and fantastic!
Great job on the Slant Rhyme. 🙂
A new favorite, Bjorn. Very cool mix of the classical and slang– wonderful. K.
I could tell you had fun… It came through in the reading.
great write and read – enjoyed both
every time i read your poem i learn something new…as i googled that cartoon above i discovered a treasure trove..great lines Björn…
yes, the vixens with moxie can indeed burn…
Sounds like a rap beat..good one!
Doesn’t sound mean enough to be really rap. Although you’ve got the beat right, your lovable, sweet self shines through – it sounds more like someone playing at the end of a week … which is great fun anyway, nothing wrong with that!
Wowee that one’s creepy. Bravo for all the different types of rhyme. You certainly achieved the rap-like quality with the reading.
Hot stuff! 😀
Whew, as in blowing out the torch!
Well done, Björn. I really could not make heads nor tails of it.
The ending is the clincher…so, you like movie vixens? Make them know 🙂
I just loved hearing you read this Bjorn–lots of fun words, and some very effective imagery too even though it is tongue in cheek, quite a bit of truth, too. The salamander-alchemy image is also perfect here. Good stuff!
I’ll admit I am out of touch with poetry and do not quite understand the meaning behind this but I like the way it reads!
This is so much fun to read, and looks like you had a lot of fun writing this too. 🙂
Phew – this one moves really well. Like it. Lots!
I love this poem! It’s fantastic fun to read; every line made me smile just as much as the one prior. Thanks for sharing it. So often I think that the fun has completely fallen out of poetry. Not so here.