I touched your skin – Rondeau for dVerse

· by · in dVerse, poetry, rondeau. ·


I touched your skin and burn away
as embers in myself will die
this orange – crimson feel my heat
in ashes now my heart depletes
the day we met, I curse that day

With breath of kerosene you say
those tempting words that make me stay
in flames of lust I’ve found defeat
  I touched your skin

You’ve won again, you had me slain
the bed’s my pyre where I lay
I’m trapped in honey way too sweet
in arms you lock me in concrete
so all my efforts were in vain
  I touched your skin

—

Picture by Andrés Nieto Porras from Wikimedia Commons


Picture by Andrés Nieto Porras from Wikimedia Commons

Today at dVerse Form for All Tony will introduce us to the Rondeau.. a real fixed form. But still with lovely variations. Pub opens at 3 PM EST. Come join us.
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October 24, 2013

46 responses to “I touched your skin – Rondeau for dVerse”

  2. I thought I left a comment here, but I guess not. I liked this one so much that I came to read it again! You render the rondeau beautifully here.

  6. Oh wonderful lust!
    Following your clue here Björn, my little effort is ready and waiting. Can’t wait for the pub to open!
    Anna :o]

  8. I like the way the poem keeps going back to “I touched your skin.” Everything starts and ends there … very cool! and the breath of kerosene … yeow.

  10. Well, brother Bjorn, you rival the Romantic poets with your randy rondeau, and once more I must bow to your excellent ability to create so clearly within the confines of classic form. I can do it, but it is never a simple or easy task. I know these FFA prompts are essential for the spreading of our poetic horizons, & our education, and after mounting & mastering one, I feel delirious with glee–yet the stallion within does not like to walk or cantor, it wants to gallop freely with its tail & mane flying in the wind.

  11. I knew I could rely on you, Bjorn … smiles. The heat and simple lust, with just a hint of menace, is a fantastic use of the form, taking it away from the cloying romanticism it all too easily falls into.

    And as aresponse to Grace’s beautiful rondeau … wow! I hope more people read them one after the other, as I did.

  12. You’ve done a wonderful job of portraying the lust–and the hopelessness–of your lost lover Bjorn, especially as the form is an exacting one. You excel with form.

  16. That desire for sure leads into a trap. And that woman should not be excused. That is how I read your poem, and I certainly agree.

    You can really write iambs, by which you make the reading simple.

  26. Ha – a funny–but believable–intersect here between the fire and honey and concrete–one feels enmired in many different substances in this type of stuck situation and all such a great contrast with skin. Thanks, Bjorn. k.

  27. I think the form is great for expressing the deepest emotions…not sure why or how..(is it the math?) or numbers? Loved reading your Rondeau…and the ‘agony of defeat’, Bjorn

  28. I just came here after reading Grace’s piece and wowow! a combo deal here. Sweet romance and romantic sweets fusing a delight

  31. So first was a touch…not a word to say much…I doubt about the thought…what a pivot…since then around her spinning the world…the moment you touched her skin

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