Jane enjoyed the seaside solitude. Here she could almost forget what Alan had done. His controlling behaviour and how every beep from her iPhone resulted in questions.
She once loved him, at least a little. He had never been violent but she had felt smothered by his presence.
Now she was ready to reignite her life. Alan was gone, and she had an ad at the dating site.
Her iPhone vibrated.
She watched the gulls fight over pieces of meat. Had she known how easy it was to get rid of Allan, she would have fed the gulls much earlier.
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Copyright E.A. Wicklund
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A little story with a twist again in Friday Fictioneers. If you enjoyed, why not join the fun. Go to Rochelle‘s homepage to read more, or follow the link below to other contributions.
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October 2, 2013
Whooah! That WAS a twist. I had to read it twice. And she seemed like such a nice girl… Well done.
Poor Alan… he was probably just a wimp.
Awww poor guy. And the next one
You bet.. you should see how fat those gulls are..:-)
Barely able to take off hehe
what a horrible twist!
Ha… indeed…
I laughed! Beautifully written : )
😉 dark humor
the necessary kind. light humor is only frosting.
He may not have been violent, but she sure was. Note to self: jealousy may result in becoming seagull food.
Indeed 🙂 those birds are quite nondiscriminatory when it comes to food
Ew. I feel awful saying this, but nicely done! 😉
I feel awful writing it —- not…:-)
ooh Bjorn – I like it. Didn’t you once pack off a man in a suitcase in another of your stories…? Should we be worried?
I have offed a few guys before… and yes one of them was burned after being stuffed into suitcases.
really BLACK! gute Mädchen kommen in den Himmel , böse überallhin…(good girls get into heaven, bad girls everywhere) What a twist, my first impression was she is a good girl, and her Ex is kind of a stalker…but honestly, I don´t pity him… Am I bad?
Maybe he was a stalker… but he was also a total bore (so maybe he should be pitied)
The last line made me LOL, although I don’t personally condone murder as a way to break up. 😉
Nope… murder is not one of them usually.
what a twist! very dark. at first i thought the guy was the villain here. well done.
One villain. the other more so.
i heard somewhere that there are no real villains in every story. just a bunch of protagonists who are begging to be heard 🙂 p.s. , an open call for an anthology http://theeclecticeccentricshopaholic.wordpress.com/2013/10/03/happy-news/comment-page-1/#comment-11171
I was just thinking how lovely that she was free at last…until I found out how she’d gotten her freedom. Good twist!
janet
But the sea-gulls were happy 🙂
Goodness! What an ending! Evil hides behind innocent smiles and poisonous thoughts of revenge
Revenge is a poison indeed…
Like the product placement. Are you sponsored by Apple these days 🙂
Wonder if it’s a good product placement.. after all she’s a murderer. Maybe I need to change it to smartphone so I don’t get sued-
Wow! This was a fabulous twist. I love them best when I don’t see it coming. Well written.
That’s my favorite also.. and who would suspect a sweet girl…
I would. You should always ask yourself “Why is it important to be that sweet?” Trouble surely lurks. 😉
sublte but…liberating… 🙂
Ha.. good for her, bad for Alan 🙂
What a twist! She grew sick of Alan, but it seems that the seagulls like him.
I guess being the favorite of seagulls should not be on the top of your list.
Dear Bjorn,
I can see her pressing Paul Simon on her iPod play list as she answers the phone. “Drop of the key, Lee, and set yourself free.” Very nice (you know what I mean) story.
Aloha,
Doug
There are 49 ways left though… 🙂 Thank you
and just when i thought it would end nice – catchy ending. love it!
Was a while since I went dark… 🙂
Eeek! I loved the dark twist – just my kind of thing 🙂
We both went with the end of a relationship… something about the squawking of birds that takes me there. The ending, was a dark twist that I didn’t see coming. Tough end to a relationship!
I like how you came around to the gulls and the gruesome murder of her lover – with all the banalities that came before the punch line.
Terrific.
No wonder I stay away from the beach!
Scott
Mine: http://kindredspirit23.wordpress.com/2013/10/02/5427/
Dear Björn,
That’s one way to get out of a suffocating relationship. 😉 Dark and twisted. Yup. I really liked it.
shalom,
Rochelle
Grisly story and I’m glad the seagulls got a good meal. But I don’t think I’ll be calling Jane on her cellphone for a date!
Great minds think alike, ha ha. Great job 🙂
Quality twist 😀
You certainly want to give this woman her space. In fact, I prefer to stay two or three continents aways from her.
No worries she roams the beaches of Sweden —
Seriously creepy! This sounds like the beginning of a CSI episode. 🙂
Smoothly sinister. I wonder if “feeding the birds” is on her dating profile? Probably not!
Nicely crafted, Bjorn! I’ll bet Jane was a whiz at stir fry too! 😀
Homemade meat pies I think 😉
Yes those too! 😀
Allen must be a tasty guy. Good story.
Björn, I’m with Doug, I could so hear Jane singing along, “make a new plan, Stan…” It must have been gruesome week. Very well played.
Bam! I love how that last line changes the entire mood, even genre, of the story. Great, great story. 🙂
Ooohh, chilling! Yes, bam!! I didn’t anticipate that at all, Bjorn. Those seagulls will be set for some time with meals. Ha ha. Great story!
Oh, dark, dark, dark!!! But excellently told!!! The pacing that took us from lovely and peaceful to demented and brutal was perfect.
But I’ve just been wondering about keeping steady company with you experts at “dark” writing. I used to never kill anyone except really, really bad guys. Now, suddenly this week (in a different writing challenge), I actually killed off two people in just a short, 3-stanza poem and never batted an eye. (I will take some comfort, though, from the fact that my murders were more “humane” than this one.)
I’m going to see the beach with a new set of eyes after reading about all these bodies! Nice work.