
Leaping Salmon by Ohara Koson.
river silver –
daringly in rapid’s foam
a salmon leaps
pink delicacy
sliced with master skill
served with sake
—
September 27, 2013

Leaping Salmon by Ohara Koson.
pink delicacy
sliced with master skill
served with sake
—
September 27, 2013
Writing about living in two places (and times)
Poems & Stories from The Author Stew
practising for a whole life
haikai poetry matters
Running in the slow lane
The view from here ... Or here!
“Life is like riding a bicycle. To keep your balance, you must keep moving.” — Albert Einstein
chronicling my quarter life crisis
Since English your second language, you might want to consider
You might want to change first line to “silver river” since ‘silver’ is adjective. Or you might want to give river
a verb, like “river slivers” which would go with your next line since you are using an adverb ( daringly).
I was thinking of river silver as a metaphor for the salmon actually (silver being a noun) … hmmm maybe I need to change it a little…
No! I think we should leave your Haiku alone and let her be, lol.
I think the dash made it better.. so I keep it.
Well, I have egg-on-face, lol since sliver is only a noun. But sliver
SOUNDS like something a river would do…
I added a dash… I think it turned into what I wanted.
Yes! the dash did it…
I see, now, now how you were using silver as a noun. Did not think of it that way. Could only see a silver river…
Both are exquisite. I loved the first one though… that leaping salmon.
The second was more for fun I think 🙂
I can see that salmon leaping into the plate…now that’s distillation..
Mmm.. love the taste of sashimi..
Although I’ve never met a live salmon in person, I’ve admired their leaping skills through photos for many years.
Fishery
The first is wonderful and the second makes me want to be full 😉
Salmon Leaps
Beautiful set.
oh, this is really fantastic – salmon sashimi and sake! oh, i forgot, not at a restaurant to eat, this is haiku, a wonderful set, by the way. 😉