44 responses to “Towards the end”

1. Really liked reading this rondolet out loud.

   • Thank you.. my first rondolet… I think I like this form…

2. If only nothingness exists, solitude would be togetherness….as that is all there is. That would be a really empty life!

   • My thoughts was on a relationship that disintegrates … not my situation at the moment… but still

3. A perfectly formed rondelet; the refrain sets it up wonderfully and the complex rhymes are very clever.

   • Thank you.. I love these shorter forms based on french poetry… if it’s triolet, rondeau or villanelle.

4. repeating in passive attitude…mundane platitudes…you def set the feel of the that nothinness…nicely played to form….

   • Thank you .. a fun form to play with

5. oh heck..you capture the melancholy of the pic beautifully björn…sad…

   • yes.. but I love Munch.. he has done so many more great paintings than the scream

6. Lovely work on the refrain and rhyming pattern ~ the melancholy is palpable with this line: when nothingness remains to mend

   • Thank you… 🙂 Munch is such a master of dark paintings..
     and I saw a relationship slowly disintegrating

7. I got much more from the poem than the downside of a relationship, I had a sense of the darkness, the melancholy that holds depression’s bony hand when we ponder our mortality, and weigh our accomplishments, or lack of them. Nice use of the form.

   • Indeed.. there could be a lot more.

8. Love the ‘-tudes’ here.
   You managed to wrap the form round something serious.
   aprille.me

   • all forms can be made serious and all can be whimsy…

9. Excellent form, and a great expression of the hopelessness of a failed relationship. Sharing space, but nothing else. Nicely done!

   • Yes… that state can be so sad..

10. “togetherness in solitude”… so vivid, palpable. beautifully executed, bjorn!

    • Thank you .. yes I felt the need to keep it tight and not too playful

11. Ah. You have captured the end of a relationship, and, I am sure, the end of time.

12. This form worked beautifully for you, Bjorn. I liked the somberness of the poem.

13. nice use of the form. nothingness is a compelling subject. this seems to indicate an ending – it could be a relationship or life itself with “togetherness in solitude” I enjoyed the simplicity you’ve mined from the complexity.

14. I awqays enjoy your unusual rhymes.

15. The form and rhythm expresses the inevitability and sadness of break-up so well in this short poem – better than reams of rambling could ever do.

16. Nicely done.

17. The rhythm works so well here! resonates with the feelings in the verses

18. ..loved the rhythm in your rondelet Bjorn… reads like a sad round song… smiles…

19. Deep and then some. Catching the flow nicely and the sadness touches raw nerves. Powerful, Bjorn.

20. Better not be heading for the end, I say! 🙂 You can write, Björn, but your perceptions are often terrible.

    • Life contains dark sides and lighter ones. Best way to enjoy the light ones is to penetrate the dark one’s and deal with them. This is in no way autobiographical.. though but more of a what if.

21. When I first read this, I thought your words were those of an elderly person on his/her deathbed to a mate or family member. Slightly different overtones when read in that context.

    • Ah, that would be another way to write it … I would probably change it a little then.

22. Definitely a thought burner, After each reading I come away with different meanings,very deep and well written !!

23. the image and your words work so well together – very poignant… you embraced it.
    beautiful work.

24. Lovely poignant feel, Björn. Would love to read this in French too.

25. Very well done. Sad but I like the rhythm.

26. “togetherness in solitude;” I don’t know what it is about this line, but it really strikes a chord. nicely done.

27. What hope could there be for relationships that stand on mundane platitudes? You wrote about a cooling and failing relationship in a few words.

28. sad…but PERFECT!!!

29. Hmm. You went seriously heavy. And it works with the repetition.. sounds hopeless, done.

30. Oh dear. Sounds like the end of the world:( But really well done.

31. Endearing story in seven lines.

32. mundane platitudes – that really got my attention.. speaks of hopelessness like others have said but beautifully..

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