51 responses to “A line of strawberries”

1. heck…tight how you mix the soldiers with the warm strawberries, the childhood memories with the fear…tightly penned björn and looking forward to you bar tending tonight…smiles

   • I think all is correct and set up correctly now. Look forward to my first bar 🙂

2. the strawberries while a wonderful treat make small comfort in the face of the others…to see soldiers in the streets would be hard…and a funeral procession all the more…made me think of when my grandfather passed…he was a fireman and they honored him and us greatly ont he way to his funeral…

3. Interesting progression here. Strawberries (and other memories of childhood comforts) are so therapeutic…. I have some in my fridge, think I might go eat a few. = )

4. Wow, sometimes one color can evoke so many memories…some of them difficult / painful ones. Thank goodness for the warm red strawberries which take one back to childhood. I just bought strawberries this morning, will think of your poem. And tears come for all sorts of reasons. A strong poem, Bjorn. I really like its progression.

5. I like the way the focus of this shifts from now to memory. Excellent imagery,

6. excellent piece, strong close

7. Nicely focused and tight piece of work, Bjorn – also written tenderly.. I enjoy this. Thanks.. Scott http://www.scotthastie.com

8. I agree with the other commenters, the progression of you poem builds and builds then turning to sadness and release.

9. Interesting contrasts.>KB

10. Great! I love Goya and I love your poem. I like how the end contrasts so sharply with the beginning.

11. An intense and good write.

12. You held your emotional angst and despair until the end ~ The part of the strawberries was unexpected, yet it gave a sharp contrast to the ugliness/fear of war ~ Happy OLN 🙂

13. I loved the introspective nature of the narrator–and the comparisons–red/red/blood –it just all worked for me–

14. ah, the final twist, sharp as a cold bite shocking the tongue.

15. Love this!!! The slightly altered refrain makes us see the image afresh and the final lines are wonderful!

16. a sweet and painful blend of memories, well done

17. what a surprising comparison… the lines of red and the lines of red… masterfully written!

18. I must say I like your rhymes better.

19. The salty and the sweet together. Nice work!

20. …interesting how you mix those tight lines & imagery of soldiers & marching prisoners to the soft, gentle feel you suggested t’wards the end… as a child i am often scared by these kind of scenes rather than to feel honoured & proud… somthing from the image of soldiers keep on giving chills on my knees… loved the over all appeal of this that almost read like a round song played after some sounds of bag pipes.. smiles… great offering…

21. Beautiful! I like the formal marrching of lines, still marching when strawberries return. Some days, imagination swoops in and takes over freeing you just in time to remember reality and treats–though not in time to break the mood. Scary, but I relish those moments.

22. Excellent in every way! The first stanza, the little detail about buying a watch on that street, gave the poem life–and the closing is just superb.

23. Björn, this is excellent. love the repetition of the first line… like gunshots – and then… you pour beauty into the mix – and make it radiant.
    great work.

24. I read the poem with bated breath. Thanks for the chance to exhale at the end. It is nice to know that even when there are a lot of heavy scary things around, little things can provide comfort and relief. 🙂

25. Extremely poignant, Bjorn. Excellent write!

26. Bjorn, I love the refrain of each final line in the stanzas and how you change them up ever so slightly. Lovely write. Have a very safe trip.

    Pamela

27. Absolutely stunning poem, Bjorn. Love the strawberry stanza breaking the repetition of the early lines and then the final couplet – just wonderful K

28. It makes me sad when I think about all the soldiers, dying so I can eat strawberries…

29. Reminds me of something previously shared at d’Verse Poets Meeting the Bar called a “Conflation” as taught to us by emmett wheatfall, a melding to two variant texts: http://dversepoets.com/2011/10/27/meeting-the-bar-critique-and-craft-conflation/
    Well penned.

    • That’s very interesting – my starting idea was actually to write tanka – but it evolved to this 😉

30. I am half Cherokee and strawberries represent a great love to us so to read this broke my heart. I love the contrast of the soldiers and childhood memory brought together. Your writing never disappoints.

    • Wild strawberries to us in Sweden represent childhood and those special places were you can be yourself in summer. And they should be on a straw (hence the line of strawberries)

      • 🙂 thank you for sharing that. I had no idea. For Cherokee the strawberry represents love like in a marriage. God/the great spirit/creator made them in a story to bring a woman back to loving her husband and taught him to treat her better.

31. Makes me think of “shell shock” the soldiers get when they come back. Something as simple as eating strawberries can trigger a memory… I don’t think you meant it this way, but that is where my mind went.

32. That was poignant poem, loved the way you have described the soldiers, their deeds n how it makes you fearful, and intermingling of childhood memories with strawberries 🙂

33. Strong metaphor of red strawberries manifested as bloody soldiers. Nicely done. -Mike

34. A lot packed into this fine poem…war juxtaposed with the comfort of that red fruit…one evoking the blood and fallen condition of the other…provoking! …and I liked much the rhythm and pace ..#like having you tend bar, too!

    • Thank you – I had a fun time – and a brief sleep – now I’m soon leaving for the airport

35. Bjorn, excellent bartending! I am a passionate anti-war activist, and I actually had a bit of a cry on this one. The “blood and strawberries” connection is so visceral and powerful. BRILL. Amy

    • Thank you – yes deep within I’m against all war, I’m glad never have to make any personal decision in that matter though 😉

36. This is splendid. The way you tied this together really was intense,
    “I cry in silence
    & eat the strawberries”
    Excellent pacing, this last stanza hits hard. Beautiful.

37. Your balance of soldiers and strawberries works beautifully–visually, of course, but also in from adult to child. Thanks for sharing this one–and running the bar for us all. Cheers!

38. A very strong poem Bjorn with great contrasts, the ending really brings together the intensity of the emotions.

39. Nice contrast, not what I expected from the title. I enjoyed it.

40. I liked it how you related images to state of being like feeling poor, afraid, sad and then to being child. it triggered a set of images for me as well…..the simple joy , warmth and brightness of strawberries definitely sets you back to innocence.good write.

41. Gasp – what a wonderful piece of writing, Björn.

42. A line of strawberries, a source of solace.

43. strawberries warm from the summer sun blasts me directly back to childhood. beautiful, resonant piece, Bjorn.

44. Powerful writing.
    Great work with the closing lines.

45. That was an amazing contract with the closing stanza.

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