A little unrhymed Sonnet for dVerse on the subject of letting go.

my fingers slipping slowly from your grip
and deep below the teeth of the abyss
you smile and tell me that it’s time to leave
the fall, the fall, I’m far from ready yet
my fingers clawing but they find just air
I know that far below are teeth of the abyss
your smiling face is haunting from above
the fall, the fall, I’m screaming silently
my fingers clutching, strangling at my throat
with fear I know the teeth of the abyss
your smiling face turns into memory
the fall, the fall is more like flying home
and now I know that you were always right
the fall is where the future can be found
—
February 9, 2013
I have actually lived this exact emotional scene. Your words are haunting, moving, beautiful and accurage.
accurate ….argh…!
🙂 Thank you, the story came right out of the picture.
wow..you even wrote a sonnet…falling…always a special theme for me…so scary to let go…but then the finding freedom and future in the fall…priceless…
Thank you for the prompt, it fitted perfectly with my experiment on forms.
…the smiling face turns into memory is quite of a sad line… and yes..letting go opens new begginings for a lonely heart that once hung and wander with the clouds above… at least you settled in a rather fair tone t’wards the end… liked this a lot and quite diff’rent approach to a sonnet but still remarkable and i had fun reading it… smiles…
Thank you, it’s interesting to get away of the rhymes. I think a piece of poetry can change perspective at the end. I use the same technique in prose.
Full of rhythmn and emotion.
Thank you 🙂
the fall is where the future can be found…what a profound line man…but yes i think you nailed it in that one line…we free ourselves to the possibility…and great form man…
Thank you. It where my thoughts took me 🙂 the form was an experiment. English is so well suited for iambs.
A lovely sonnet form ~ I thought the last line of each stanza, about the fall was really good ~ There are falls that we are never ready, but when we do, the future may be found ~
Grace
Exactly, just like letting go.
Beautifully written… I love the profound ending.
Thank you 🙂
Very dramatic poem – with strong word play – teeth of abyss, smile, and all the types of falls and rises from grace. k.
Thank you. Letting go is always dramatic.
Wheeew, happy ending. It ain’t always happy — glad yours was.
Unhappy perhaps, but often necessary. 🙂
This is my favorite works of yours ( I love them all) Brilliant!
Thank you, very much appreciated. 🙂
I think I prefer the non rhyming sonnet..allows the freedom to experiment as you say..very well done 😉
Thank you. Yes rhymes can be both a curse and a blessing.
Accurate and beautiful but too familiar. Have spent the past two years jumping off cliffs. I’ve gotten to this future but not without a few splats.
But not falling is usually worse 😉
This has been my theory. One, two, three…JUMP!
wonderful shift in perspectives
Thank you 🙂