100 words challenge for grown-ups this week at Julia’s place has the phrase .. beneath the surface… which I think could fit into a nice dark sonnet. Unfortunately I shot slightly over the target of 103 words. This time it’s 108 words. Anyone willing to borrow me 5 words…?
from deepest sleep you’re suddenly awake
in chthonic darkness nothing you can see
you feel confined in fever start to shake
the wooden panels telling, you’re not free
the air is thick with musty smell that tells:
beneath the surface you’ve been left to die
a burial for you without the bells
and here below there’s none to hear your cry
you feel a centipede that slowly squirms
beneath your collar rats and lizards move
and in your nostrils there are squiggly worms
you realize it’s wrong, you disapprove
and now again, at home, in cosy bed
but there beneath your nails remains the dread
—
February 4, 2013

Very dark, deep in the underworld.
Indeed. Buried alive, worst nightmare.
UCK. REALLY UCK. Good job. Your earned the extra words.
Thank you, it’s hard to cut if you wan’t the iambs.
Haunting. Very good.
Thank you 🙂
I love this. It’s just so delightfully dark and atmospheric.
Thank you, it’s a dormant specialty of mine. 🙂
This is eerie … loved the piece !!!
Thank you 🙂
Deep. Moving. Thanks.
Thank you 🙂
I once had the experience of staying overnight in a haunted hotel, whilst I didn’t see anything, I certainly had the feeling you describe in the first stanza of not being able to move, apart from uncontrollable shaking and an overwhelming sense of fear. Nicely done 🙂
Waking up in total darkness in an unfamiliar place can happen also in your dreams.
That’s very true indeed Bjorn
Quite griping… Nice job Brudberg 😉
Thank you.