I have seen dVerse, and never understood what it was until I just saw the challenge of today. To write a poem in second person. I decided to write a rondeau (all those rhymes are difficult) and address the dancer below. Go here to find more entries.
you twist and turn, a futile act
the music that you once attract
is now a burden for your soul
you dance today, you play your role
the music from yourself detract
a whitened smile it is a fact
if never there you will be sacked
but deep inside there’s just a hole
you twist and turn..
and finally becoming cracked
it’s time to quit, to break the pact
you leave the scene and take control
in silence now your mind is whole
but to the tones you still react
you twist and turn…
—-
December 13, 2012
Björn Rudbergs writings 
really interesting verse…nicely done to the form…interesting the dance still to music that is no longer there…is it an act or…the hole inside is telling in this…i tend to dance though at odd times so…smiles.
Thank you, Rondeau is really a dance, and he can’t quit. Maybe like the red shoes??
Dancers who dance professionally must go through hell physically, such as ballet dancers. It really ruins their feet and their bones and such. Your dancer sounds pretty sad.
Really enjoyed this.
I might have had the red shoes in the back of my head…
Welcome to dVerse! I’ve never tried a rondeau – it looks pretty tough though, with all those rhymes to find. This one is lovely – the form suits it rather than overpowering it.
Thank you, yes rondeau is pretty tough. you have to form around the rhymes rather than the other way around. Apparently much easier in french where the form originate.
So happy your brought this to dVerse…hope we see a lot more of your work in the future, Bjorn. You’re skilled with a difficult form and it’s perfect for the subject. Makes one want to dance! Come back!
Thank you, yes I have specialized in iambic poetry (and a little haiku). When time allows I will surly return.
Wow… well written, it feels a little dark, and goes so well with the picture, maybe like a music box dancer when the lid is closed…I really enjoyed this and it’s a great form.
Thank you. I almost always start with the picture before writing any piece of poetry or fiction. I think it ends a little positive… but I thought he end up like a sober alcoholic.
Nice to see you at D’verse ~
Good work on the form ~ I specially like the refraining lines, you twist and turn ~
I think it’s key to a rondeu to have good refrain, I have tried a few, and I write tetrameter daily.
How perfectly you illustrate the toll taken on a dancer’s body, mind, spirit.
Not a dancer myself, but picture was taken at the final dance for this group
Made me think of those in the dance world…doesn’t sound very fulfilling or joyful…many do crack under the pressure…and twist and turn. Really enjoyed this.
Thank you, fun to write, and using a dancing form for somebody trying to evade the prison of music was my idea.
this speaks to me about breaking free and escaping the beat of the things other people expect..def. works as a metaphor and great job on the rondeau as well…
You are correct, and I think it was in the back of my head.
..quite skillful to put this all down… double plus like… now can’t stop dancing from your words… really nice… smiles…
🙂
Excellent, prose is difficult in 2nd person but this really works well!
I think it depends a lot on the subject. There are things that are easier, and those that are more difficult.
A skilled write, excellent.
Anna :o]
Thank you 🙂
So beautiful … I had read your haiku before, but you are so good in this form as well 🙂
Thank you. Iambic poetry is a little bit of a speciality
Clever way of relating it to the dancing routine! It makes it more real, Never thought of it! Nicely Bjorn!
Hank
Thank you. 🙂
Very effective, and great use of the form.
Our 15-year-old granddaughter is a dancer, and already her feet are rather battered. But not with sadness. For her, dancing is life and joy.
Cheers!
JzB
My dancer has lost the joy. It’s gone too far, this can happen in many professions,