Friday, and a new pictorial challenge. Rochelle’s picture was the most challenging for me since I started.
Go to Rochelle Wissof-Fields page for more excellent entries, or add your own, either there or by click on the little widget below. Entry is exactly 100 words.
Robert is excited for the first time in a year. He vividly recalls last Christmas, how he and Elizabeth had shared a holiday of joy.
After New Year he lost his job, then foreclosure and eviction. Elizabeth left, she and the daughter he never met are now living at her mother’s place.
But the dragon lady could not stop him now. He’s running down the lighted street.
“All will change now”
But he slips and falls, and the wind takes the lottery ticket. He sees his future disappearing under a passing bus.
—
November 30, 2012
Björn Rudbergs writings 
Oh…..there lies real, true tragedy. The fool, the poor fool, who thought for a brief moment things would change. It makes me shiver..
Actually I got an icy lump in my stomach, just by writing it…
Yes..can imagine..
What you never had… But winning lottery tickets don’t count in that particular adage. Nice one.
I feel very sorry for him. I’m a cruel writer.
‘A winning lottery ticket doesn’t make a poor man rich; he’s just a poor man with a winning lottery ticket.’
The writing hooked me and got me feeling sorry for him, even if I do agree with yerpirate that he’s a fool.
(A couple of minor typos – you need an r in first in the first line; and in the last line you need an s after fall.)
First, thank you for spotting the errors. I should be more careful when I write, and secondly I kind of agree he is a fool, but it’s still cruel that his hopes are crushed.
Ohhh, well some of life’s lessons can seem cruel at the time, but who knows where they then lead us? Good job, Bjorn.
It’s when you raise the hope and then crush it again it becomes extra cruel.
You did that so well 😉
uh oh. he might likely throw himself under the next bus. well done.
Or get a haircut and job 🙂
A nice, tight story. Good work.
Thank you 🙂
This is a sad story at a number of levels and you met the challenge you mentioned in your opening extremely well. You gave us a lot to think about in a short number of words–what gives happiness, what are priorites, etc.
Thank you.. 🙂
oh now that’s not even nice! poor man. I would dive under the bus! well maybe not. winnings do you no good if you are dead. 🙂
Sorry my keyboard took me paths i didn’t want to take.
Hi Bjorn,
A lot of twists and turns. Very skillful to get all that into such a short story. Ron
Thank you Ron.
🙂 funny, as I started reading yours it sound like my back story. I usually write out the story and then cut it down to 100 words. This protagonist lost her job and the house was in foreclosure.
Scary similarity.. Is her name Elizabeth?
There’s some opportunity for a little word pruning. I’d chop the last long sentence into two and have it read; But he slips and falls,and the wind steals his lottery ticket. He watches the future disappear under a passing bus.
Thank you for the suggestions, it definitely reads better. I wrote the story in a hurry on the bus to work, and I was way to happy to hit the 100 words sharp.
All changes in a matter of seconds! Oh, so sad. I was so hopeful…I think this is a hard one, too. I haven’t written one yet!
I started to write a poem… but then got this idea instead.
I’m assuming his ticket was a winner… it might change his life, but it wouldn’t change him. I liked the first line… setting a stage.
I am not sure he needed change. maybe just have a break finally.
He needs to learn what’s really important. His child and her mother might just need him more than his winning lottery ticket. Good job, Björn.
And maybe challenge the dragon lady…
There’s no quick fix, unfortunately. Change costs far more than a dollar gamble (and not financially). Feeling quite emotionally invested in your short story already…
There are a many closed doors, hope he manages to open some despite this.
Oh, poor guy. I feel so sorry for him.
I know, I felt bad for him when writing it.
Good story, there was just a 500,000,000 lottery here, that’s alot of regret. Of course lotteries are a tax on people who are bad at math.
I know about the odds. And I actually have a zero chance to win… which is marginally less than if I’d ever played. The 500 MUSD lottery I heard about, and that was a little inspiration actually.
I confess I dropped a twenty to the taxman on that one!
Relatively speaking your chances are infinitely larger than mine then 😉
doesn’t divide by zero result in undefined ? 😉
Hmm, I wonder if the money would have bought the change he hoped.. I can imagine the horror of the moment.
Probably devastating, but money is not all… usually.
I think your suggestion (to Rich) that he “get a haircut and job” is the way to the dragon lady’s heart.
Very likely.
Oh gee. After all that’s happened to him, he loses the lottery ticket too? Too much to bear.
At first reading, I thought he ended up under the bus (committed suicide) … then realized it was the lottery ticket. I hope he takes that as a sign that there are second chances in life and he goes for it…like some other FF wrote…get rid of the self pity and get a job. Well done, Brudberg.
I shouldn’t type the word that came to mind. Well done. I don’t see a very Happy Christmas after that. Sigh.
Man!
I fee for him.
I once lost a raffle prize coz I left the event early. A pal who I had shown my ticket number told me. Would have won a phone.
I feel for him…