Once more I try a Villanelle, this time I try to do it in pentameter. Oh, there are so many great forms of poetry.
The cheerful flames are dancing to my song
As night grows dark I take your trembling hand
November is when fire makes us strong
Escape the dread of night, we here belong
Inside we find what make our living grand
The cheerful flames are dancing to my song
We kiss and dance and nothing here is wrong
and dream of summer on a beach with sand
November is when fire makes us strong
The swirling lights engage us all night long
And slowly ember fade to dwindling brand
The cheerful flames are dancing to my song
And morning comes with rain and all is wrong
So gather strength, and hear to my command
November is when fire makes us strong
As days grow short, come follow me along
and join us merrily and hear the band
The cheerful flames are dancing to my song
November is when fire makes us strong
—
November 5, 2012
Björn Rudbergs writings 
Very appropriate as people are lighting bonfires tonight to commemorate Guy Fawkes night! (small suggestion: if you swapped around ‘here we’ in line 4 to ‘we here’ the meaning would stay the same but it’s better for the iambic rhythm)
What a great suggestion, Thank you 🙂
very nice —
you might consider “as night grows” in line two, or “as nights grow”
and “the swirling light engages” or the swirling lights engage”
– Bill
:-)… My s
Changed to swirling lights instead to keep the iambs in place.
have to admit I am unfamiliar with the mechanics – I actually have a book I am working through to learn.
hence, most of my poems tend toward unstructured, but I am planning to write some metered verse once soon.
This was a wonderful Villanelle. This is one of my favourite forms, building an emotion within the repetition. Lovely work.
Villanelle is truly wonderful. I done two, and the first one turned out pretty harsh. I wrote it in tetrameter, and it reads like soldiers marching. Today I wanted to write something softer and pentameter helped in that.